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Open Poetry #26

Redundant Writhing

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

0 posted 2003-06-08 12:55 PM

Redundant Writhing

Everyday my songs pour out,
The aching never ceases -
No word has soiled this feeling,
Just as no word has soiled you;
Even if I could dance about,
Stepping in time, one to another,
This reason, that cause -
It would be better.
No respite, only redundant sensation,
A drum beat endless and perfect,
Redundantly repetitive, yet varied,
Stretching and contracting,
Swelling and subtracting,
On, and on, and on
As I writhe in the sensation of life.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2003-06-08 04:04 AM

cool write

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

2 posted 2003-06-09 12:34 PM

No word has soiled this feeling,
Just as no word has soiled you;

This is filled with sincere emotions,
and I am partial to that in a poem.

Nicely done majnu~

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

3 posted 2003-06-09 12:40 PM

"No respite, only redundant sensation,
A drum beat endless and perfect,
Redundantly repetitive, yet varied,
Stretching and contracting,
Swelling and subtracting,
On, and on, and on
As I writhe in the sensation of life."

I really love this, it's so wonderfully put together.. Great writing

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