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| Open Poetry #26 |
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left behind |
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crimson tear Member
since 2003-06-07
Posts 76Massachusetts 
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Hold my heavy heart In your tired palm My whole life But it’s just too much for you So you drop me And walk away Leave me to fend for myself The wind blows hard The driving rain into my soul There’s no light For you were my sun I can’t explain the pain I can’t explain the hurt When you said that word Goodbye One solitary word Yet it contains the power to break me I lie shattered before you And you step and walk on Without me How can you expect me to move on How can you expect me to find another How can anyone compare to an angel I once basked in your radiance Now I shiver in the dark Our love is now burned out Our flame no more than a flicker I wonder where you are Who you’re with Who do those eyes look upon now Filled with the love that was once mine I will try to continue but my love is lost And I am left behind [This message has been edited by crimson tear (06-09-2003 03:04 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 shane - All Rights Reserved | |||
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
nice thoughts expressed,,, Poetry is a vision that portrays ones impressions.QjQ |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I felt exactly like this after my ex greg dumped me. Now I have Liam. You will find love again in time. I enjoyed this poem a lot. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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SarBear Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205Massachusetts |
this is kind of how i felt when my boyfriend dumped me. even though we hadnt been going out for a long time it still hurt a lot. and i felt so alone. but i can imagine it is 10 times worse in a long time relationship situation. keep it up sibling dearest |
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laurie Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153canada, ontario |
good work, shane.. beauty of a poem, and well written. laurie "think about it!" anyway, good work, l liked it a lot. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Welcome to PIP... A strong write...very heartfelt and deeply sorrowed. As you work, you might think about the tense of the thoughts, keeping them close knit...seemed to shift just a little, and your talent is dynamic...will ease the reader along more gently to enjoy. Looking forward to more of your poetry. Really good. ThisDiamond |
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skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Welcome to Passions! This is very powerful, crimson tear. I hope things look up for you soon.  ~Elizabeth Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
i know this well |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ahh shane . . . wish I didnt know this - but I do - being the reciepient of such things . . . I am filled with guilt this one hurt . . . brilliant write btw xxoo |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
My, but what power is held with the word of goodbye when such deep love is felt... Penned well. |
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