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Open Poetry #26
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yv
Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574


0 posted 2003-06-03 07:45 PM


A love like this comes once in a lifetime
The lifetime lived by two

A love like this could only be ours
The love we shared could never be replaced

On a night like no other
Our love bloomed
And on an eve that changed my life
I fell

As light faded to dark
His hand touched mine
My heart and its pace
Growing with every stroke of his finger

In the moment of a breathless whisper
He took me
My heart
My soul
Every inch of my being

As he dipped
I slipped
Slipped between the passion of two stars

The heat radiating from the moon
The breath of the wind
Every part of the world's being
Encapsulated into our dance

His hands let go
And so did the dream

As I woke from this fantasy of love
Still in awe of the beauty of this tender feeling
My only thought was of the love I felt

A love like this
Love like forever's promise of life
Comes sadly only in my dreams

The one that I do love
May not love the way that I wish
But the love that I feel
Will take away any doubt of his splendor

Only a love like this
Could make me still love
The one that I know does not

Yet I will always wake to his smile
To his scent fresh on my mind
His touch tender
My skin ceding to his magic

Only a love like this
Only a love like this

yv

*side note:  I would love to receive any constructive criticism that anyone has for me.  I am a poet; yet I am still a student.  I am learning everyday from the poems I read.  Anything that will allow me to learn more about this mystical artform that is poetry is greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

yv

© Copyright 2003 Camiele - All Rights Reserved
QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
1 posted 2003-06-03 07:52 PM


nicely written,,,

Poetry is a vision that portrays ones impressions.QjQ

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
2 posted 2003-06-03 08:32 PM


YV: you have written this piece well and I encourage you keep writing! Ciao Roniece
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2003-06-03 09:06 PM


YV~
Welcome to the circle of poets and friends~

Lovely penning ... just keep writing what's in your heart~
quote:
this mystical artform that is poetry
A lovely, lovely thought~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Joe Houck
Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 324
california
4 posted 2003-06-04 02:30 AM


Try as I might I see nothing wrong with this poem that I can constructively critisize about. But what do I know, I'm a begginer. =)....Good stuff.
Joe  


chinesestone
Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 76
China
5 posted 2003-06-04 02:39 AM


a deepiy deeling
i  like this one

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-06-04 03:27 AM


I love this poem. It's really
beautiful. And thank you so much for
sharing it with us.  

Hugs  
Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-06-04 03:34 AM


good write, almost like a song
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
8 posted 2003-06-04 07:05 AM


yv - nice write...

BC

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
9 posted 2003-06-04 05:11 PM


welcome to passions nicely written
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2003-06-05 04:53 AM


Enjoyed...James
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