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Open Poetry #26
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Impressed Negatives Reviewed
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Impressed Negatives Reviewed |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
She wore the sky In stretch of arm to meet sunrise Feet planted in firmament Where soil tickled between toes As she wiggled soles In search of better grounding For fear the spirit she exposed Would take in flight her all But leave the shell behind And what was left Be her bane of existence For the remaining time Allotted mere souls Such as hers… I watched With heat rising in me At the curve of flesh And fire of eyes saying come closer That I might enfold you to In the world of me… But I feared what I would take. My base desires to spoil With the fingerprints left Red on white Where in press of flesh I bruised tender or marred the image She felt of clean I would in pick of flower Deny the garden one bloom So, She wore the sky And I wore thunder Which still rumbles when I think Of how she felt beneath me With flashes of lightning Going through us both Before I chose to let her Ride off on clouds I knew I could never understand For clouds are not of earth Or clay as am I |
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| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
grumble grin you KNOW I LOVE THIS--- expletives and mutters mumble sad? sigh. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Just let me sit and admire quietly... while tucking it into my library... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Hmm.... Well, the word masterpiece comes to mind. Into my favorites library, so I can read it as often as I like. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Excellent! TD |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ser.... you do indeed grumble a lot at me... keep that up and I'll get a complex or something  I'm glad you liked.... thank you for the read and the time... Sunshine: certainly take your time and enjoy..lol.. sometimes it takes a good while to find the enjoyment in what I write.. thank you ma'am for the thoughts and the words. Midnight: Masterpiece..around here that is a BBQ sauce and a place to eat.. it probably fits them better than me.. but I certainly thank you for the kind words and the thoughts.... you are far too kind. TD.. thank you kind lady...although excellent is a strong word to use when it comes to my poetry... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
That is NOT what I meant!  LOL...So I'm back already...what can I say....it is a most enjoyable read...one I can say is full of imagery...which is very much appreciated. So there. |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
one word.....WOW! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
... ..once again you have rendered me speechless. *grins* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron...seems you get better and better...so don't fight it. This was so good! |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
she wore the sky and I wore thunder man..... this is wonderful Ron enjoyed it |
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Drexler_McStyles Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 195Venice, Ca |
I dont usually post replies, but I liked this..a nice style, I enjoyed the way you laid down the tale... D. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Ron, The ladies are swooning. Cool! If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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apoetdreams Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 52NJ, USA |
Wonderful write. Ditto to above  !Make your words as sweet as honey, someday you may have to eat them. [This message has been edited by apoetdreams (06-03-2003 11:14 PM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
DAMN! |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
So, She wore the sky And I wore thunder Which still rumbles when I think Of how she felt beneath me With flashes of lightning Going through us both Before I chose to let her Ride off on clouds I knew I could never understand For clouds are not of earth Or clay as am I Goodness, this is good, Capt. Ron. I'm keeping it, too. Okay? Hugs  Ethel |
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chinesestone Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 76China |
good |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"For fear the spirit she exposed Would take in flight her all But leave the shell behind And what was left Be her bane of existence" I know someone like her...but she is doing better with each passing day...thanks to her friends... What you write always touches me in places that don't usually get touched. Thank you. Susan C. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
From the first line, I was hooked. *S* And the last verse is just spectacular... like this SO much, Cap'n!!! *S* |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
well Ron, all I have to say is this is a spectacular write and to be honest I think I love this one out of all the great poems you have written... I am going to save it and when I feel lonely I can read it and remember that there are SOME out there who DO feel and CAN express.. thank you, this has been an unexpected pleasureable find... M |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
She wore the sky In stretch of arm to meet sunrise Feet planted in firmament Where soil tickled between toes As she wiggled soles In search of better grounding For fear the spirit she exposed Would take in flight her all But leave the shell behind  This powerful beauty had me with goosebumps all over. its funny how when you read poems and you sometimes see colours when u picture them, here i saw a wonderful mysterious sky of purples and blues.just beautiful ron.. and into my library, so thanks. lots of love, gemma x learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I was gonna fuss at you for posting all this amazing poetry while the moth was on a break, but somehow, after reading this...i just dont have the fuss left in me ...theres no room next to all the poetic admiration. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Cpat...as TD said..."Excellent"....and to your reply...a simple "Pahhh"....because it certainly is...excellent!! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Well done! Well done! An excellent excursion into theme-building through progressive imagery. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ron: HUGE smile . . . God you write with such passion - beautiful xxoo |
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Kellsue Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 210Waukesha, WI USA |
Powerful and passionate - excellent write! ~Kelly  |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Earth and air should always coincide well together, sweet friend, even when nature plays cruel tricks! (big hugggsssssss) Then, what's the point of gravity? (big hugggsssssss) I love this, dearest friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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gyiel marlok Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145OHIO |
turn this into a hardcore song |
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