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guilt
| Open Poetry #26 |
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guilt |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore 
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tears almost spilled out as my unemployed friend stalled time in the local fast food outlet. she wanted to use money from her troubled finances to treat me to fries, seeing how I watched her craft excuses for her younger sis, the breadwinner, who had been pressurizing her to go get a job I was resolute in my refusal though I might have told her rather sharply to quit wallowing in sob stories and to pull herself together last year, I indulged in travelling and took photos of a dog falling asleep I have been bonded to a profession and won't suffer the indignity of rejections eventually, my hunger pangs dictated that I go home for lunch I abandoned her in search for cheaper drinks, wondering if it was good choice being honest when I was blind in luxurious settings [This message has been edited by kaile (06-03-2003 10:20 PM).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
eventually, my hunger pangs dictated that I go home for lunch I abandoned her in search for cheaper drinks, wondering if it was good choice being honest when I was blind in luxurious settings the introspection here and the understanding that it is all relative should not be lost on the reader or the author.... lol There is also a piece of this that says one disrespects another by refusing an offer for food in some places and in some people's minds... you didn't ask...but I'm going to tell you a short story anyway about my experience in refusing food offered... When I was growing up on the farm I also worked for neighbors or people in the area hauling hay or building fences. On one farm there lived an older man and woman, who in most people's terms would be clasified as struggling if not poor. I hauled hay for them one summer and when it came time for lunch ( which was traditionally provided by the farmer putting hay up) I sat at the table and saw immediately that it had been a huge struggle for them to find anything to feed us. ( myself and an another guy who was also working) I ate, but very sparingly, leaving the table as hungry as when I had sat down. Next day when it came time for lunch, I made an excuse about not being hungry and for them to go ahead and eat. The farmer became enraged and later I found out was quite hurt that I turned down lunch. It had hurt his pride and sent the message I thought I was too good for him and what he could put on the table. My grandfather knew the farmer I had worked for and he found out the story later. When it was told to him, he came home and told me I had been disrespectful of others and that it did not matter how hard they had struggled or what hardships it put on the farmer and his wife to provide lunch for workers, to reject that offered was indeed to place that person in a position much like being socially slapped. He went on to tell me, it did not matter what was offered...in the future I would take a small amount of things and I would compliment the wife on the meal. I would eat even if I did not like what I ate and I would never make anyone feel inferior by my rejecting a meal or an offering of food. Ok.... that's my story..lol...and it may have nothing at all to do with what you wrote about, but I think it does in a backwards sort of way.. |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
touching, in a melancholy if not sad way. you told the story wonderfully. cpathair's story is similar to one I could tell. in my culture a guest is to be treated like family, and the refusal of one's refreshment is insulting. -majnu |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Really enjoyed your story, my friend, and well written it was. I feel a person can be just as gracious in declining as anyone is in their offering, and I feel that one who is offended by the other (no matter which is which) is the poorer of the two. It's not the "giving" that is important, but the "offer to share", and it is not "rejection" that has been returned, but "polite gratitude", and neither should feel slighted by the other. A well done piece, my friend. jwesley |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Ron, thanks very much for telling me that story...what an enlightenment to cultural practices! and thinking of the proud dignified farmer who refuses to bow down to even empathy makes my blood surge somewhat...now, that's positive living! and you may have highlighted a possibility that my friend and I might have already failed to connect since she might have felt patronised by my refusal...I will try to do better next time majnu, thanks for the "melancholy", since that is what I was aiming for. Your "touching" kinda made me feel better about this whole incident. thanks jwesley quote: thanks for reading and for sharing that wonderful thought...next time, i shall take care to ensure that my refusal entails a polite gratitude instead of callous rejection thanks you trio for your quality replies... |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Well kaile, True to form you do your writing with style. Very well done and it has touched such an important cord in your readers. Dang, you're good.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
enjoyed the prose-like poetry here |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
ditto what Larry said, and this: true to form, you reveal a great depth of character and compassion in your replies Yep, you are a special blessing to us Pipsters. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sad write |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Hmm, Kaile, I wonder if this poem is about someone we know... Anywayz, I have a piece of thought to add too. I totally agree with jwesley, coz god knows I've rejected many offers for food or treats...  And no, I don't reject it coz I think I feel that I'm too good for it, or that I think you're too poor to treat. I'm really glad that you thought of me when you were about to start munching, but most of the time, it's juz that I don't feel like eating. You know, like right after lunch, someone offers you some fruits or snacks, but you're just too full to stomach anything. Yet, there comes a time that I've made so many rejections that I become embarrassed to turn down another offer. And then I'd feel as if I'm forced to eat.I feel so bad at turning down offers, and I don't think I'm getting any more tactful with practice. What is worse is, when I offer to treat, I start feeling worried that the other person views it as a form of pity... Gosh, am I overly sensitive or what?! Thus, I've since decided that I shall not treat, and I shall not accept treats... Heh, it's not as bad as it sounds... I juz feel that it's a give and take situation. Sometimes, I'll foot the bill, sometimes you'll foot the bill... evens out, I guess... We don't have to bother who is short-changed, coz it's juz a gesture. _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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