the pilgrim -- part 5 - pipTalk Forums

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Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2003-04-18 11:40 PM

dies irae
       must is always begin this way?
                 with an ending?
a temporary permanance that separates one from the other
                   and both from themselves?
must it begin?
                 like this?
               dies illa
                          I had many days
days that never should have begun
       that led to nights that should have ended
days of dark
            but, unlike you, my days of dark only led to ruin
the ruin of others
                 if not myself
solvet saeclum
                 cry the tears of pain
when the screams of anger have finally subsided
                                          (gone until another day)
      and discover the slice of the most human of blades
                                                           regret
the wound can only be resewn until it is open again
     and then, it can only be resewn so much
           until the thread becomes merely a sieve
                mixing loss with anger and hindsight
(a mixture that not even the tears of reign can wash away)
                        in favilla
                                      this was my end
my end cast in anger, tempered by regret
                               and molded to loss
        a story that I could not share with you
               born of an emotion that I never really knew
                                          but one that knew me all too well

teste David cum Sybilla
it came to me one night as a stinging slap of reminder
             joining my soul in time again
                                          (walking that same path)
                     how would we choose?
would we choose to walk the same again?
                                        or different?
or, would we choose to not walk at all?
     to not walk and to welcome the emotion into our lives
          the emotion that went against us
               but that nonetheless welcomed us into its semiloving grip
                                    (we walked with it)
and, its grip on us became our grip of pain
     our grip of sorrow
          our grip of marking
               our grip of loss
but yet, when we tried to get away
                                   the grip tightened, and we gripped back
       falling again on the blade
                                   and needing more than the thread

dies irae
            day of dark, again do you come?
            I want this day to end
            dies illa
                         day of dark, again do you end?
                         I want that day to begin
                         solvet saeculum
                                           release me again, release my soul
                                           I want this night to end
            in favilla
                         release me again, release my pain
                         I want a new night to begin
teste David cum Sybilla
               the end must be the beginning
               so then, let me end

let me end as you would have me end
         in your way and in your time
                  and
let me begin as I would have me begin
         in my time and
                         in time's way

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2003-04-18 11:56 PM

Sven...Many hard emotions in the truth of this poem...difficult to comment on accept to say I felt much in the reading. My best to you.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15