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Open Poetry #26
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Outside The Law In Gillette
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Outside The Law In Gillette |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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Ride the wind, don't ask me where it's going; it's free like dying like paying taxes like waiting for tomorrow. I sat in a bar one night, in Wyoming, in a town called Gillette like the razor, bolted together like the rest of the town I was bolted together with whiskey, like everyone else in the bar; there was nothing to do after renting Dolores, big ugly broad, said she came from Juarez sounded more like Union City. Even before I was born those flat Island bones had never worn pretty. So I talked to a man who'd met Hope in the real War, who wanted more than anything else to be called Sundance, whose name I think was Ralph, but he was buying, he was an ex-roughneck from Fillmore Utah, a town that should have died with the guy it was named for. We soon switched to drinking nips like I learned on Staten Island, when I was under age in outlaw bars, I don't know where he learned it before I hit Gillette but he knew to do them three swallows at a time bang them on the bar to get another, then throw the empties at the off-key band whining to be famous. Some blasters bought us rounds because Sundance was the souper who drove their nitro to some weird place in the desert, so some college kid could look for natural gas so some house wife back east could cook some beans for her hubby and her screaming kids, while watching strangers killing friends on news TV; so she'd never know it had been me, but I was drinking beer for free, and Sundance he said swinging pipe was for dirtbags, boneheads and immigrants; he was forty-eight and old for his profession, with a wife in Oklahoma and a mortgage out of Tulsa he swore he was gonna beat the odds. I listened to him, drunk and spent, I was a shadow hero with thirty days, my tools and time for rent, the dirt was yellow dust nothing green grew near, that Sundance he looked old and tired of waiting for the bang he'd never hear, like he'd been staring at the wire, like he'd been driving soup for twenty years, instead of just a season, he believed somehow tomorrow could be just another day. I'd come young to gritty food, slimy mud, jungle blood the odds I'd learned already said I would walk on water before Sundance Ralph would live to see his dreams come true, but he and I did swap some lies drink some beers and share a women whose mind was uglier than I'm comfortable remembering; Gillette, Wyoming was a boomtown in 1969. ©2003 by icebox [This message has been edited by icebox (05-30-2003 11:19 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ben_pelling Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 59Isle of Wight UK. |
WOW! Thats all I can think of to say about this piece. I read one line and want to read more. I read it all from beginning to end and was dissapointed that it ended. this write draw me closer and I could imagin I was actually there. And like I said before very nice write. Ben.  |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
this draws quite a picture, of past experience i enjoyed reading It's the quality of the complement that i feel, not the quanity. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Thank you for reading and for your comment. I am glad you enjoyed it. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow, I was born in 69, how times have changed |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Dang! such incredibly vivid imagery, I think I could actually SMELL that bar and hear that off-key band in the background. I've passed through that town. And I agree with that Utah reference. It seems as if our paths criss crossed somewhere along the line. Your Juarez via Union City woman made me laugh, though she was a pitifull creature. I'll keep this one in the poetic icebox, to read again later with a chilled glass of wine. Nope, I don't do whiskey. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Love this style m'friend--reminds me of another traveling poet here at Pip. More of these, please sir, I down 'em like nips.  |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
passing shadows ~ *laugh* How times have changed, how times have changed.... Life in many ways really was different "back then." The only photo ID you needed to get on a plane was a picture of Ben Franklin. War was deadly and sex was safe (the physical part not ever the emotional part). Gasoline was twenty cents a gallon and the car I drove at that time would hit 160 on a good flat road; I know that because later that same year I ran it through the traps at Bonneville - and it was really just a highway car, a re-worked 1958 Impala with good suspension and tires and a great engine. Yeah, times have changed. Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. Midnitesun ~ *smile* I don't do whiskey anymore either (OK, almost never). Hmmm...paths that cross in the wind. I think perhaps you are better off that we did not meet back then. Thank you for reading this. I am glad you enjoyed it. serenity blaze ~ I am glad you enjoyed this. You do know I am old and need a longer recovery time, right? *grin* |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
You tell a story like a good old-fashioned yarn. I could listen to more please. |
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22NICK22 Member
since 2003-05-29
Posts 54 |
hey man, that is real poetry |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
passing shadows ~ Thank you for reading my poem. Chanson ~ *smile* There is no point in being an old Celt if I can't take time to tell stories. Thank you for reading my poem. And for your comment. 22NICK22 ~ Yeah? Ya think? *grin* Thank you for reading it, and for stopping to comment. Welcome to PIP! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'I sat in a bar one night, in Wyoming, in a town called Gillette like the razor, bolted together like the rest of the town I was bolted together with whiskey, like everyone else in the bar;' You keep writing, I'll keep reading. Nothing better than a good story. (Yep Serenity...very much so.) |
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bbent Senior Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 521Alaska |
just couldn't leave without saying what a great write i thought this was.a been there done that thing but damn man go easy on them out of tune bar bands...really enjoyed even though it left me with a hangover. Live like it's your last day... |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Duncan ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for stopping by to comment. bbent ~ *smile* I hope you feel better, maybe a few aspirin, lots of water and some tomato juice. Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. |
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