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Drexler_McStyles
Member

since 2002-11-18

Posts 195
Venice, Ca

0 posted 2003-05-29 09:53 PM

swan songs
were his specialty
he drew up blueprints
and floor plans
of the future
the inevitable broad
was usually in his wallet
dredging the lake
he spoke serenely
to her
about the life he foresaw
for them both
she poured the liquor
high inside the glass
and eventually he drifted off
into complacence
sometimes he would unleash some fury
when the rearview mirror was legible
but outside of these infrequent outbursts
he just leaked saline
and left his hopes
on small scraps of paper in his pocket
the women were interchangeable parts
that took the levity on the couch
to irrefutable levels of debauched infamy
with the neighbors
sometimes, high on the wine
they would open his skin
by breaking glasses on it
flung at him
when he was lost in thought
or tired of their banality
the door often hit them on the ass
and rattled with their reproaches
once in awhile
there would be one
who opened the shades
on the windows
and lit candles in the alcove
like she were feeding a child
but they never lasted
one misconception or another
would drive them east
leaving only a fleeting impression
that he hoped to erase
with wine and whisky
before it settled into his courtroom
and he was hung for treason

there are no mermaids
or damsels in distress
to complete the fairytale
ideas
that he hopes to copulate with
and that is the greatest tragedy
of them all

[This message has been edited by Drexler_McStyles (05-29-2003 09:58 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2003-05-30 01:45 AM

profound portrait, D

glad your pen stays busy describing the view under the microscope

Take care.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-05-30 03:10 AM

wow...what an ending

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-05-31 05:45 PM

I was just saying to someone else why I like your work so much, and it occurred to me that I should share that with you.

I guess it's because even if it IS a bit of sandpaper grit, you do portray the lifestyle of those absorbed in sensation-obsessionism, even to the extent of a matter o fact tone that edges toward the blase'.

Oh.

I also mentioned that critique says more about ME than it does about you. But I DO know your language and yes, I DO relate.

You continue to write. I'll continue to read.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2003-06-10 09:25 AM

I really like this in depth look......very well presented!

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