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Fishing With Grenades
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Fishing With Grenades |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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We started out as boys of prey believing what we'd learned, some not even twenty mostly poor with nothing earned, some were born to plenty came from worlds I never knew; obscenities became the common glue that held our words together as we learned to stay alive. We hated everything about the place, the boots, the food, the mud, the crud that stuck eyelids together, the weather, newsies, amateurish boorish fools buffoons with cameras, tape recorder spools, whiskey up the ass, the white skin round eyed nurses only sleeping with the brass. I had it easy making ends meet in the jungle with the bloods, they hated all the snowflakes and I hated everyone, we started young and frightened using ordnance like toys; some were bagged up early flying home to flowers, all the lucky ones were tagged. The rest of us stopped being boys a hitch or two ago tucked our fears into our dreams and didn't really sleep. Nightmares came like boom-boom girls loud with lots of flash. I grew to be something else between human and a man lost the fear of dying on a blood trail in the bush later I replaced it with a fear of going home; even that got washed away until where I was was all I'd ever known. We learned it don't mean nothin' and to get by the best you can, watch the ghosts come at you and sometimes let them pass, watch the tracer colors red could be OK but green means someone's zeroed on your ass. I don't make friends; they always die and I hate them when they do. Pass the shotgun here because we're back alive again; play the music loud above the ringing in my ears. Anybody hungry? Put a good edge on your blades. Wake up Doc and build a fire I'm going fishing with grenades. ©2003 by icebox |
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| © Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and I love the way you write. You do not press the sentiment buttons, not even for a bit. The details still give that air of authenticity--so much so that it is easy to presume, that once again, this IS eyewitness account. Either way? You avoid the cliche' of emotion here, and instead of going for the easy "hankie" poem, you write with a sharp edged quill. And yep, grin, still studying you.  I like the sporadic rhyme scheme. I found it kept me, as the reader a bit off balance, and on the whole, contributed to the mood of the subject matter. NICE TOUCH. |
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Joe Houck Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 324california |
really cool and very odd piece here. kinda makes it an open interpretation for the reader. Good stuff. Joe |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Left me sitting in silence, again. I'll be back. (though I've never understood fishing) |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Have to agree with Serenity. This is quite impressive. Enjoyed...again. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
neat write |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"I grew to be something else between human and a man lost the fear of dying on a blood trail in the bush later I replaced it with a fear of going home; even that got washed away until where I was was all I'd ever known." ie, you found a profound truth |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I love to go fishing, but I have never tried it with grenades before! Thanks for the tip!  Intriguing write! Warm hugs, EA |
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SgtMac Junior Member
since 2003-05-19
Posts 13 |
Any poem about war captivates me, but I gotta say this is one of the best I've read so far. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
been reading you for a while now..and like Ser..I enjoy the edgy style and the slightly off balance feel the mixed rhyme adds... becoming a fan...and even if I don't have tome always to say a word or two..I do enjoy |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
There it is.Welcome home my brother. paladin |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Love yer edge ice great stuff |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
serenity blaze ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comments. I am glad you caught the sense of never quite staying in balance; like the itchy sense of not knowing which footstep might get you blown to hell. I wondered if it would read that way or simply be taken as poor craft. By the way, I HAVE written with a quill; I even know how to make them. I find the keyboard much more liberating, but I have always found interesting the effect of the media on my product. It feels often like my hands are doing part of the thinking and when I am writing with an implement, my other hand is bored and feels left out. Joe Houck ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. Midnitesun ~ I hope it is not a bad thing to be sitting in silence. I sometimes go for days that way. Thank you for your time and for your comments. I am always conflicted about some memories; for all the horror that is war, I believe there are some awarenesses which can only be found in war. Perhaps one day we will evolve beyond the need to refresh those awarenesses. As for fishing, it is both literal and metaphorical. Duncan ~ Thank you for reading this. I am glad you enjoyed the read. passing shadows ~ Thank you ma'am. Earth Angel ~ *laugh* You may not want to try that. The reference is to the quaint practice of using concussion grenades to stun the fish. I learned it first as a way to kill Portugese man'o'war and then saw others doing it to harvest the fish which float to the top of the water. It also refers to the casual use of dangerous tools and the attitude of taking whatever steps get you to the next point in time. It is battle field opportunistic pragmatism. It was also a phrase I heard used in reference to the practice of dropping explosives down into a tunnel to see what might be "caught" trying to escape by the other exits. I would guess that using explosives for sport fishing is frowned upon by most game wardens in civilized societies. *smile* Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. SgtMac ~ I am humbled by your comment. Thank you. Cpat Hair ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comments. I am glad to hear you got the off balance feel; I was not sure about it. paladin ~ Thank you! That is an appreciated kindness Aenimal ~ Thank you. A valued comment from the master of the razor's edge. *smile* I appreciate it. |
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