»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #26
»
The Fall up Leaf
| Open Poetry #26 |
|
The Fall up Leaf |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
The Fall up Leaf A walk of hands and holding belt loops the river the river calling and sky like blowing bits of time until the color hovers on the line of trees and fells the warp of shadows with a breeze Feel the catching of the tune for soon this green hill covered with rolling children will be gone like the words of song and the trees fragile leaf still trying to appease the trust that cleans the clutter from enough See the bench lolling in the incline It is catching minutes with weathered letters and heart shaped declarations See spring teeter on the hill clasping hands with winter still and naked summer girls a lay in waiting for a bit of colored skin to trap with line of suit imaginations pursuit and from the ivy halls of smart some heart See the couple lolling on the bench They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps so weeps the minute until in certain time backwards a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Amazingly beautiful....might this be a park nearby? Certainly a pleasurable picture... Thanx Martie Girl! |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
What an image I get from this piece, Martie! It's a breath of fresh air and the scent of spring. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A walk of hands and holding belt loops the river the river calling and sky like blowing bits of time until the color hovers on the line of trees and fells the warp of shadows with a breeze -------- and the trees fragile leaf still trying to appease the trust that cleans the clutter from enough ------------ It is catching minutes with weathered letters and heart shaped declarations ------------ See the couple lolling on the bench They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps so weeps the minute until in certain time backwards a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays ================================== OH MY OH Martie MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shaking me head at you* this is such a VERY cool poem... I have said time and time again, the way you turn a moment of people watching into poetry in motion is so impressive...seeing things thru your eyes is always a lesson in poetic justice. And I have said before...I wanna write like this when me muse grows up.  awesome write sweets  Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh. I want to take time with this one. Starting with what YOU started with: "A walk of hands and holding belt loops" This is so perfect. It gives the tone-sets the pace-and foreshadows in one fell swoop. "the river the river calling and sky like blowing bits of time until the color hovers on the line of trees and fells the warp of shadows with a breeze" The yearning here illustrates that break of concentration, sigh...the search for the "something else". (But yet reminds me sometimes a loss of focus is nothing more than seeing more.) And all of this: Feel the catching of the tune for soon this green hill covered with rolling children will be gone like the words of song and the trees fragile leaf still trying to appease the trust that cleans the clutter from enough See the bench lolling in the incline --it is forewarning following, emphasizing and "underlining" the foreshadow. And that gives an undertone (to me) of a reluctant helplessness in looking back. The following verses follow phases of life and season so exacting--made me smile WIDE with the sheer execution of this poem, which seems to come so naturally to you. And that is taking poetry to the art form, I humbly believe. So...chuckle? Can I keep this one? I obviously enjoyed much. Hugs you! and thanks for this one.  |
||
|
Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Your words weave a vision of wonder that opens a beautiful world as I read...Magnificent... |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
A walk of hands and holding belt loops You already know my thoughts on this line, it's incredible. They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps so weeps the minute until in certain time backwards a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays Martie you have done a smashing job with this, just like I knew you would beautiful Lady. I'm keeping this. Hugs you Maree |
||
|
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - you do things with words that are hard to describe - as I read you evoke so many feelings and thoughts - wow this is something else - great poetry my wonderful friend - Paul |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
My question is - when do you find the time to do this, and how on earth do you do it? You truly amaze me Martie (and p.s. you live in a darn hot place but so beautiful.) |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
"a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays" What a beautiful interlude....the kind that so rarely happen in the real world, but there are those moments that we sometimes capture..... You show us this one so clearly and in such touching depth.... Thank you for sharing it. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Martie, when I read you, I live the event in tandem. That's no mean feat and a glorius way to write. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...just watch I am like love... ~*~ Yes... falling up poems are wonderful, aren't they? Particularly magical... |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MartieSis~ Each one ... each one ... even lovelier than the one before~ How is that possible ? 'They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps so weeps the minute until in certain time backwards a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays' Exquisite ink of Martiesque Moments~ 'love will not leave the place it keeps' continues to echo in my heart~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
junemac Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005uk |
wow !!!!!!!!!! this is one amazing poem. just unbelievable imagery. martie you are brilliant. wonderful this is. hugs from june x |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
See the couple lolling on the bench They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps I am speechless, as per usual when I come across your poetry Martie~ How do you manage to one up yourself every single time?? I so love your lilting gal~ and I feel so lucky to read you. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
...and doest that leaf become part of a love nest? No one does this type of poetry like you, Martie. Once again you weave nature, colors, out-of-doors, and love to create a beautiful tapestry of words that makes a heart smile... |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very magical write Martie, I so enjoy you |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps so weeps the minute until in certain time backwards a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays"  (big hugggsssssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, this touched me just like the beginning and end of Forrest Gump when the white feather is flittering through the sky, as Forrest passes his love and compassion onto his son in the end! (wipes tears) Just more living proof love never leaves the place and is living through each spring breeze, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I'm gonna' bump this...it's just too pretty to fade down the list. I just re-read this beautiful poem, and it carried me away just as much as it did on the first visit. What a picture you paint here! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This, my dear Martie, is you at your finest. You are so incredibly talented and each poem that I have had the pleasure of reading has been masterfully written. You have your own unique and very special niche here at Passions. Warm hugs, Linda |
||
|
snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
"They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps so weeps the minute until in certain time backwards a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays" that is absolutely stunning poetry, Martie...another beauty from your pen...as always, I love the imagery...great write sp just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday... |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
See the couple lolling on the bench They are holding back the time of goodbye watching for a sign that tells them love will not leave the place it keeps so weeps the minute until in certain time backwards a leaf from ground twirls softly back to air it falls up yes up as if with this trick to say just watch I am like love then catches branch of tree and stays I know others have quoted these lines before me... but I read them in the poem and then again and again in the responses... and loved them more with each reading... they epitomize what you do so regularly with such seeming lack of effort - they capture a moment, our hearts and our imaginations... and we fall willingly at the mercy of your pen. Absolutely exquisite!! |
||
|
Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA |
Oooo. I like. The ending is especially tantalizing. "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
||
|
Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Your images are so astounding. You see so much color in life. Tell me, did God give you a special pair of eyes. If so, do you think he'd give me a pair? If not, can I borrow yours? Just beautiful, Patricia |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Only you Martie can write of love like this. I had to have another read. It is even more beautiful. Maree [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (05-28-2003 05:24 PM).] |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thank you so much for all these wonderful replies to this magic moment...the leaf falling back to the branch...I was so glad to see it and be able to write about it. |
||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I can not believe I didn't respond to this when it was posted... I remember being astonished by its beauty, reading it several different times! It speaks of love on so many levels! Simply gorgeous. One to save and savor. miscellanea |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
