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Open Poetry #26
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Four and Two
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Four and Two |
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Black Swan Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165on the moon 
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What do I have to show to you now the thought of acting on this freaks me out I've waited for such a bright light destracted like a moth in a flame never bieng sure,always wondering placed in front of someone,we might turn into something do my feelings betray does my speech sway, you when I walk in the door do you ever question why the sun's behind me I sware I see that look in your eye Don't pretend it's nothing not willing at this point to cover up not willing to give up a chance so many regrets,don't take it for granted it's been two years since that rose was planted still in the pot on my porch shoved it aside so I couldn't see it when I got home give me what my heart desires I saw four shooting stars I made the same wish everytime |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Love those last two lines....Very nicely done all the way around! |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I saw four shooting stars I made the same wish everytime Those last two lines are really precious. Such longing is felt from them. Hugs  Ethel |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
this poem had a topic but didin't go anywhere until the last two lines. that really broght the hole thing together. good write |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
The last two lines really stitched it up for me. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Definitely has a theme and a really terrific ending last two lines.... jwesley |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yeah, those last two lines....well done |
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