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Open Poetry #26
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Double Pains
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Double Pains |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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Enclosed inside double pains striking the hours after midnight where time flies in a frenzied flurry waiting to catch up. Like connecting the dots that have no numerical order. I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in. Absorbed in condensation, letting you trickle down slowly. While I conjure up images in a timely fashion giving pause to my reflection leaves a film, filled with smoke in the mirror fogging up my memories. I wish to put my finger on it pressing my hands against the glass and recognize the feelings you magnified clean sweeping away the residue. Filling the air with dreams that transpire but they, or I, am hidden behind two way images wearing tears,in beads that perspire escaping through the seeping of my pores. ~*~ |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Wow! So very touching! I really understood what you were feeling. Great write.  Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Filling the air with dreams that transpire but they, or I, am hidden behind two way images wearing tears,in beads that perspire escaping through the seeping of my pores. Lori, this one hurts, Lady.  Heart hugs to you,  Ethel |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
*Like connecting the dots that have no numerical order. I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in. the lines that makes a great write!!! QjQ |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"...where time flies in a frenzied flurry.... ...I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in. ...giving pause to my reflection.... ...and recognize the feelings you magnified.... ...but they, or I, am hidden behind two way images...." hidden feelings, hidden power. *smile* |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Would pick out a line to praise dear girl, but can't select just a single one. Understood on a deep level...hugs. TD |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Lori, this is so very heartfelt, sweet friend, my heart sends heart hugs your way as I too have been briaded with tears time and time again! (sad sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, I send angel hugs your way, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
BluesSerenade, This poem reminds me of an exquisite lady. Lovingly gazing at a picture of someone special, that she cares for dearly Wistfully trying to bestow her thoughts amidst a heavy heart, shrouded in a perplexing blur As she visualize's fantastic. Past occurrences and reminisces, of bygone days, bring about a gentle hush Leaving her desire to recollect, gather and savor her connection, unmarred and complete She is left enveloped in her own shroud of impassioned moisture. As the fleeting longings, she so pines for, coalesce. Coming into, and out of her focus As always BluesSerenade, Such a wonderful write! Thanks for sharing it with us, Richy [This message has been edited by Richy (05-23-2003 04:15 AM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very emotional powerful piece Blues...I need to think awhile |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'Enclosed inside double pains striking the hours after midnight where time flies in a frenzied flurry waiting to catch up. Like connecting the dots that have no numerical order. I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in. Absorbed in condensation, letting you trickle down slowly.' The nonsensical bent works great here Blues. A place of dreams and memories where pain is pleasure...go figure.  |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Especially like the opening stanza...enjoyed it throughout... jwesley |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
BluesSerenade - you write the blues well, I need to make one of these into a song... BC |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Wonderful piece, very much described the mood you were in. I enjoyed it alot Julie |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Superb. Love the way you take the double image and carry it, unfold new meanings, right through to the end. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
 still thinking |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Ethel~ Thank you, it hurts so bad, in a good way. QJ~ I'm glad you enjoyed those words, sometimes it seems I'm getting no where fast. Thanks. Thereyougo Icebox~ Hidden feelings, hidden power! I like that thought. Thank you Sir~ TD~ Your kindness and understanding goes a long way for me. Thank you always. Noah~ Your angel hugs mean so much. I appreciate you! Richy~ When did you learn to read my mind? Huh huh? Thank you for your wonderful reply, I am flattered that you read beyond my words. Special hugs for you~ Dixie Darlin'~ Don't think too much, your head might start hurting. I was just taking a steam bath and getting it all out of my system. You are so fun, thank you~ Duncan~ Where pain is pleasure? That's a dangerous thought. but don't get me started... I might say something I regret! Jerking you again! Thank you sincerely for your nice reply.James~ Thank you for picking and choosing that verse, and especially for leaving your comments for me. BC~ Well that was sweet of you to say so, it would have to be nice and slow. Don't you think? Thanks. Hi Julie~ I am glad you could feel my mood. Thanks for stopping by to read. Ed~ Ya know, I took off on the two way mirror idea...and the fact that some days I feel I am on the outside looking in and/or vice versa! Thank you for the superb, that's pretty heady stuff! Dixie~ How's your head? [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (05-25-2003 10:28 PM).] |
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