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quatro
Member

since 2003-04-29

Posts 392
Galveston, Texas

0 posted 2003-05-22 11:32 AM

Victims of Passion

The harbor's cool mist
moistens bare skin.
In the heat of the moment
they forget their sin.

A one-eyed lighthouse
winks at the pair
alone in the dark
they are without care.

A moment of chance
is stolen from time
as they spill on the beach
a bottle of wine.

Their passion climaxes
he's holding her hand.
Two lovers united
as one in the sand.

Cradling their love
in orgasmic weight,
unaware of the cop
who would soon steal their fate.

A moment in time
is stolen once more;
leaving behind their lust
on that sandy shore.

What's done in the dark
will soon come to light.
Two victims of passion
on one star-lit night.

quatro

[This message has been edited by quatro (05-22-2003 02:24 PM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-05-22 01:40 PM

That policeman
sure had bad timing,
Quatro!

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

2 posted 2003-05-22 06:02 PM

Hello Naomi

I thought your words were fabulous and I thoroughly enjoyed reading them.

Take care....Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2003-05-22 06:31 PM

brings back memories of my youth...

*s
M

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-05-23 05:05 AM

cool write

quatro
Member

since 2003-04-29

Posts 392
Galveston, Texas

5 posted 2003-05-23 12:39 PM

Sunshine,
Yep, the policeman messed everything up. Thanks for reading!

Sue,
Thanks again for stopping by and taking the time to read. I always enjoy having you.

Nakdthoughts,
I hope the cop did not disturb you as he did here.

Passing Shadows,
Thanks for passing by.

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

6 posted 2003-05-24 05:35 PM

I believe this belongs up higher on the list.

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

7 posted 2003-05-24 08:27 PM

I liked your poem, but found that you often disturbed normal syntax in order to rhyme.ex:

"as they spill on the beach
a bottle of wine"

I know that's being picky, and its harder to rhyme without that, but i think it will make an already-good poem even better. : )

whiskey

Senior Member

since 1999-12-28

Posts 1278
Australia

8 posted 2003-05-24 10:20 PM

Wonderful write, I have been in this situation as many of us probably have. very bad timing that there police man had. Great piece I enjoyed reading it

Julie

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