Open Poetry #26 |
Love Has Since Departed |
Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
I watch the seagulls as they circle Above still waters of China blue Here I sit alone and wonder What went wrong with me and you You once told me that you loved me That you'd be mine forevermore But now my heart lies vacant Love doesn't live there anymore Love has since departed Without a forwarding address Was the love that I gave you Too much or too less? The Autumn chill moves through me I feel so empty deep inside All trace of love now leaves me With the outgoing tide * * * I should point out that these words are pure fiction and not about me or anyone I know. I am in motion I am blue Love is an ocean I'm anchored in you - Shawn Mullins [This message has been edited by Suetang (05-21-2003 01:03 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Sue Tancheff - All Rights Reserved | |||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Suetang - I sure hope that this isn't true and is a poem that you wanted to write... BC |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
Love is supposed to last forever, so how could it fail? Maybe it is because, in our selfishness and pride, we fail to see what love truly is - a giving up of ourselves for the good of another. “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Love has since departed Without a forwarding address Was the love that I gave you Too much or too less? The Autumn chill moves through me I feel so empty deep inside All trace of love now leaves me With the outgoing tide Sue, I felt this was just fiction and not from your personal experience. I'm glad that you pointed that out. It is a very good poem. I especially liked the part above. Take care. Hugs, Ethel |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suetang Pretty good fiction, enjoyed. |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Sue, these words were very lovely indeed, made one ponder on love and emotion. I enjoyed the read very much, thank you. Much of the time reality seems to be fiction of sorts. Sincerely Rick |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Glad to read your qualifier! There would be no justice if someone as loving and romantic as you were to left alone and feeling unwanted. A beautiful, but very sad write. You are a wonderful writer of romance and in all its colors... Warm hugs, Linda |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
great job considering it's fiction... Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Sue, I was worried until I got to the end. I am sure glad this isn't about you. |
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quatro Member
since 2003-04-29
Posts 392Galveston, Texas |
Sue, I enjoy writing fiction, even though it is sometimes hard. I find myself writing from pure self experience. You have done a good job here to put your self in another's shoes and write from that perspective. quatro |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very good Sue, you are wonderful at the sad ones too... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssssss) Oh Sue, this is sadly beautiful, sweet friend, I know this feeling all too well and long to feel true love still! (sigh) May the seagulls always happily cry in your heart with loves smile, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sue, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Sue, Of course I love this part: "The Autumn chill moves through me I feel so empty deep inside All trace of love now leaves me With the outgoing tide" ...that chillier feeling you get at the beach in autumn...it's sunny and you think you'll be warm, but no. The ocean can look so cold, love leaving with the outgoing tide...I know about this! thank you |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Sue: Very imaginative piece! I'm glad it isn't really about you! Betty Lou Hebert |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Sue, You didn't have to point it out to me. I have great faith in you! Nice write though. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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lost_star Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 114NY, U.S.A |
beautifully written! |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Hi Sue, you know it’s nice to be able to think, let alone write about how it would feel, “if” that special love that you shared with someone, was suddenly gone I’m glad, that this poem you wrote, was only one of those, “If’s Very nice poem! Richy |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
"All trace of love now leaves me With the outgoing tide" Also got my attention. What a descriptive way to convey this feeling. The image of the tide sucking the water back from the beach tells a story. I think love fails because people interpret it wrong. When love is something you expect to GET it won't last. Love lasts when it's something you GIVE. ... There is no normal life Wyatt, just life ... so live! [This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (05-22-2003 04:36 AM).] |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. My writing is so often controlled by my mood and I guess it was easy to see I was at a low ebb when I wrote this. Your comments are always so much appreciated. Take care.....Sue I am in motion |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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