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Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

0 posted 2003-05-21 12:56 PM




I watch the seagulls as they circle
Above still waters of China blue
Here I sit alone and wonder
What went wrong with me and you

You once told me that you loved me
That you'd be mine forevermore
But now my heart lies vacant
Love doesn't live there anymore

Love has since departed
Without a forwarding address
Was the love that I gave you
Too much or too less?

The Autumn chill moves through me
I feel so empty deep inside
All trace of love now leaves me
With the outgoing tide

* * *

I should point out that these words
are pure fiction and not about me
or anyone I know.



I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

[This message has been edited by Suetang (05-21-2003 01:03 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Sue Tancheff - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2003-05-21 12:59 PM


Suetang - I sure hope that this isn't true and is a poem that you wanted to write...

BC

El_Campeador
Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761
Ohio, USA
2 posted 2003-05-21 08:11 AM


Love is supposed to last forever, so how could it fail?

Maybe it is because, in our selfishness and pride, we fail to see what love truly is - a giving up of ourselves for the good of another.

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2003-05-21 08:15 AM


Love has since departed
Without a forwarding address
Was the love that I gave you
Too much or too less?

The Autumn chill moves through me
I feel so empty deep inside
All trace of love now leaves me
With the outgoing tide


Sue, I felt this was just fiction and not from
your personal experience. I'm glad that you pointed
that out. It is a very good poem. I especially liked the part above.
Take care.
Hugs,
Ethel

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-05-21 08:18 AM


Suetang
Pretty good fiction, enjoyed.

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
5 posted 2003-05-21 08:22 AM


Sue, these words were very lovely indeed, made one ponder on love and emotion. I enjoyed the read very much, thank you. Much of the time reality seems to be fiction of sorts.

Sincerely
Rick

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2003-05-21 08:22 AM


Glad to read your qualifier! There would be no justice if someone as loving and romantic as you were to left alone and feeling unwanted.
A beautiful, but very sad write. You are a wonderful writer of romance and in all its colors...

Warm hugs,
Linda

KristieSue
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
7 posted 2003-05-21 10:07 AM


great job considering it's fiction...

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
8 posted 2003-05-21 10:12 AM


Sue, I was worried until I got to the end. I am sure glad this isn't about you.
quatro
Member
since 2003-04-29
Posts 392
Galveston, Texas
9 posted 2003-05-21 12:32 PM


Sue,

I enjoy writing fiction, even though it is sometimes hard.  I find myself writing from pure self experience.  You have done a good job here to put your self in another's shoes and write from that perspective.

quatro

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2003-05-21 12:47 PM


very good Sue, you are wonderful at the sad ones too...
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2003-05-21 04:50 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Sue, this is sadly beautiful, sweet friend, I know this feeling all too well and long to feel true love still! (sigh) May the seagulls always happily cry in your heart with loves smile, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sue, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

12 posted 2003-05-21 09:04 PM



Sue,  Of course I love this part:
"The Autumn chill moves through me
I feel so empty deep inside
All trace of love now leaves me
With the outgoing tide"

...that chillier feeling you get at the beach in autumn...it's sunny and you think you'll be warm, but no.  The ocean can look so cold, love leaving with the outgoing tide...I know about this!  thank you

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
13 posted 2003-05-22 12:04 PM


Sue:  Very imaginative piece!  I'm glad it isn't really about you!

Betty Lou Hebert

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
14 posted 2003-05-22 01:34 AM


Sue,
You didn't have to point it out to me. I have great faith in you! Nice write though.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

lost_star
Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 114
NY, U.S.A
15 posted 2003-05-22 01:40 AM


beautifully written!
Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

16 posted 2003-05-22 04:04 AM





Hi Sue, you know it’s nice to be able to think, let alone write about how it would feel, “if” that special love that you shared with someone, was suddenly gone

I’m glad, that this poem you wrote, was only one of those, “If’s


Very nice poem!

Richy


The Lonely Stranger
Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361
Upstate, NY, USA
17 posted 2003-05-22 04:09 AM


"All trace of love now leaves me
With the outgoing tide"

Also got my attention. What a descriptive way to convey this feeling. The image of the tide sucking the water back from the beach tells a story.

I think love fails because people interpret it wrong. When love is something you expect to GET it won't last. Love lasts when it's something you GIVE.

... There is no normal life Wyatt, just life ... so live!

[This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (05-22-2003 04:36 AM).]

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
18 posted 2003-05-22 06:05 PM


Thank you all for your wonderful comments.  My writing is so often controlled by my mood and I guess it was easy to see I was at a low ebb when I wrote this.  Your comments are always so much appreciated.

Take care.....Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
19 posted 2003-05-23 05:05 AM



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