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Open Poetry #26
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the room
| Open Poetry #26 |
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the room |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa 
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cast the blue-tinged aluminum web from my wakeup snap! and peer into the dead and whispering forest overgrown tangle and landmine sounds chaotic synapse droppings and visionhounds juxtapose all times to 10 by 10 toybox, telescope, and gargoyle grin disregard and disdain barnacles respect and reverence don't step on this life scene it is all evidence suck back into my dream swivel head back to the liquid blue twitch of instinct think back to when I grew eyelids room |
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| © Copyright 2003 brian sites - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
very cool.. jarring wordplay, ultra intense..the sign of a Bri original |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Oh yeah... Raf said it well... Jarring word play. Intense...a magical experience. TD |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ok bri - I need elaboration please . . . me tired eyes and brain are arguing with each other tonight (I pictured like dreaming and having this vision then quickly being sucked back into reality) amazing write - always is xxoo |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I think you should let it be. Tell them all, at the door, that "this room" WILL be a perfect study in archeology someday...  Thank you baby...I knew this would be among your best. You DO reveal. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
cool! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Got the immediate visual of a boy [young man] in his tent! LOL...Enjoying your writing, Bri...don't stop. More, please! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
he happens to be damned sexy too... flutterin' eyelids and battin' lashes...   OH. I guess a blush wouldn't work well here, huh?  |
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marcel Senior Member
since 2003-03-02
Posts 660az, usa |
cool and slick a-- poem! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
See? This would make a helluva lot more sense to y'all, if you'd actually SEEN this room! It's been my, uh... privledge to have done so. (and it IS, as it's been written) |
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Second Self Junior Member
since 2003-05-15
Posts 15 |
A little ambiguous at first, but the other replies helped. This is a very good poem. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
well no fair Ed you cheated . . . and yes bri - quite amazing write it is still swirling around in my mind xxoo |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
very striking images... one of them is this: the liquid blue twitch of instinct glad I read you today... regards sudhir |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thank you everyone this was a special write to me because it was a challenge it was very hard to write this so it means something to me grin..you all rock peace |
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