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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2003-05-13 05:26 PM

In toward a darkness gleam
on a shell beach with no moon
and sparkle of the stars on waves
left me on the beach as I
sighed the darkling
waving lies
listening
the goodbye tune--
I left my motherhood behind--
a shovel in a half-dug run...

There were sticks
of popsicle
hanging on to napkin life.
there were tiny crevices
promising a half-assed try
of some that I present as life--
I didn't pack the grains.

I took the things that I came with.
I leave a lot to give.
Wipe the etch-a-sketch all clean.
Shake and grieve and let me live.

In toward a darkness gleam
on a shell beach with no moon--
bits of me on bits of you--
sigh the goodbye tune,
as the sparkles dot the waves--
I love you. Know--I do love you..

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-05-13 05:34 PM

touching write

It matters not how you answer, It matters only that i hear you.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

2 posted 2003-05-13 05:42 PM

Serenity,
you have the most astounding way of bleeding emotion onto the page.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

3 posted 2003-05-13 05:48 PM

Wow Karen, done only as you know how...
A little bit of scatter with a lot of brains
and there ya have it.....

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

4 posted 2003-05-13 07:54 PM

Love, such a strong feeling.

Gorgeous.

Maree

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

5 posted 2003-05-13 08:34 PM

gleaming
moonless

this rolls like the waves

and mixes

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-05-13 10:18 PM

In toward a darkness gleam
on a shell beach with no moon
and sparkle of the stars on waves
left me on the beach as I
sighed the darkling
waving lies
listening
the goodbye tune--
========================
In toward a darkness gleam
on a shell beach with no moon--
bits of me on bits of you--
sigh the goodbye tune,
as the sparkles dot the waves--
I love you. Know--I do love you..
================================

jeeesh and sheesh.. this is beautiful KA...
Who could ever doubt your rhymes??
"Not I" said the moth

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

7 posted 2003-05-13 10:38 PM

Wipe the etch-a-sketch all clean

I can't begin to tell you how much i love that line

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2003-05-13 10:45 PM

Oooh myyy...I love this Karen!
You are amazing...this is awesome!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

9 posted 2003-05-14 01:51 AM

K ok I always get such a wicked twist on your writes here goes:

three things I saw here:

one:  moving out of that one phase to another (the crone . . . )
two:  saying goodbye to a a stage of
life comparing it to outgrowing childhood
or that as a mother
three:  the love for that stage or for that of someone dear to you

OR maybe I am completely off my rocker
and should be sleeping instead of
reading poetry at 2am

amazing write - yet again
xxoo

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

10 posted 2003-05-14 06:51 PM

nice

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

11 posted 2003-05-16 06:24 PM

Powerful write, feelings and scenery. Love this (even though I don't know what popsicles are?).
Love, Margherita

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