»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #26
»
Game Over, You Lose
| Open Poetry #26 |
|
Game Over, You Lose |
|
|
Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri 
|
By the teaspoon, you have dug my grave. You always played your game in slow deliberation, Savoring the agonies of your only opponent. But with your enraged fists bound by proximity, And your seething words known as deceit, Apathy appears the new weapon in your game. If you chose only silence in regards to me, You may have won this time fist down. But you go too far in your perverse game. Choosing to abandon your own flesh and blood, You cannot win, even by default. In fact, game over, you lose. [This message has been edited by Patricia (05-10-2003 08:47 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Patricia A. Plotz - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sometimes, someone has to call the bell. Well done, Patricia! |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Patricia - damn, someone has finally written one who understands. Thank you Patricia... BC |
||
|
Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
This is extremely powerful! Eric |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Pat, Well, I had hoped you'd begin writing it and I see you have. Powerful and realistic. You've captured what many go through, and evidently, not just women. Hugs and love and prayers, Pat  Happy Mother's Day tomorrow... |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow...very powerful write |
||
|
Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
A very emotional and passionate poem... Oh Patricia, what a trying and agonizing ordeal this person is, or has gone through... I really feel for this person, and I hope that they are strong enough to get through this... If this person is a lady with children... tell her I wish her... along with you... (of course!) a very pleasant “Happy Mother’s Day” Take Great Care, Richy |
||
|
MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Patricia, Woah! You blew me away with this one! This is the most powerful thing I have seen you write yet. This is remarkable in so many ways. By the teaspoon, you have dug my grave. -What a way to start a poem! And "by the teaspoon", the slow, agonizing grip of pain dealt is described so well here. Savoring the agonies of your only opponent. -Wow! Gives a feel of almost demonic delight toward his prey. But with your enraged fists bound by proximity, -wow loved this line! And your seething words known as deceit, -another brilliant line Apathy appears the new weapon in your game. -This turns the poem in a whole new direction, and one I didn't expect. Great transitional line. If you chose only silence in regards to me, You may have won this time fist down. -Wow, great play on the earlier line. This line had me pondering. But you go too far in your perverse game. Choosing to abandon your own flesh and blood, -woah. Thats all I can think of reading this. Woah! Tremendous lines. You cannot win, even by default. In fact, game over, you lose. -Oh I loved this ending! I love great endings, they strengthen the poem so much, not that this poem needed any strengthening! Oh, I felt such power in this. Your power. Keep fighting, and keep being strong. By the way, did I mention I loved this poem?   Mike |
||
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Powerful words, your struggles within, but somehow I feel there aint no winners too. (((warm hugs)) Charisma |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Sometime the game stakes become just a little too high - and oftentimes ends in a stalemate... or at minimum - with no winner... You've penned this well, Patricia... |
||
|
QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
strong feelings written and done well!! always remember "one needs not challenge all the players to win the game" It matters not how you answer, It matters only that i hear you. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
