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Open Poetry #26
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dam broken
| Open Poetry #26 |
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dam broken |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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well, I walked into the flower shop and bought a beautiful rose in white I remembered that you loved roses- ‘white: pure, clean like spirit of true love’ I remembered your words like slow songs ‘white: loving trust and doting friendship’ that’s when I realised my mistake I forgot we were no longer us and as if in sorry admission I clenched hard at the slender stem and the thorns pierced right through my palms and I stood in my step, bleeding sorry I remembered what you also had said “never crush a white rose for it bleeds never throw it away; that’s heartbreak for it shows how pure affections can be” well, I walked up the street where I lived and knocked on my aged neighbour’s door to hand the rose to the wise lady whom I fondly treat as my grandma and all she did was throw surprised smiles while her seen-it-all heart saw the pain then she said “young man, you make me proud by giving me the true gift of white though, I am not the intended one I will keep this token of your heart” I smiled an honest smile of deep hurt as the dam stood broken by black rain |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
My friend..you do nothing but get better with each post.... bravo! This is a wonderful piece with many good lines... certainly a pleasure to read. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Ron, thanks for thinking so... regards, sudhir |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
beautifully sad I know...I must be pretty twisted to think sad can be beautiful, but I think we all realize that even aching has a feeling that makes us aware that we're alive. Sometimes, its an unwanted reminder. I'm out adventuring for treasures, and I found one.  You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes I have also found myself in the sad position of giving away roses that were meant for another...James |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
and I stood in my step, bleeding sorry I have always loved the way you write...almost as pure as your white rose. hugss M |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Hi Sudhir, a great story here! Especially like the last two lines! Like your new pic, too! Cor |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Sudhir I have to agree with Ron it seems that your poetry is getting so much stronger, clearer, and the content is simply amazing. What a poignant story this was, sad but so enjoyable. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Sudhir, this is a very heartfelt write, sweet friend, this made me cry both of the hurt of this but also the compassionate understanding heart you have to recognize this dear person like you grandmother who fuels you with a deep friendship! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, the dam may be flooding but it is flooding with poetic justice and compassion, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Sudhir: this one hurt deep . . . you write with fluid emotion brilliant as always xxoo |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Always leaves me with something to think about... Thank you. -MVS You CAN make a difference: |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Heartmoving.....beautiful penned. Charisma |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is a wonderfully penned metaphor, Sudhir - I enjoyed it very much... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you all so very much for all your kind words... your thoughts are much appreciated... regards, sudhir |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Painful but beautiful piece. Strong writing and emotion |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oh my... very powerful and so sad |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Many thanks, Vandana, Aenimal and Dixie... Your words are much appreciated... regards, sudhir |
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