Reflections on the Web |
Lifelines and Hope |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
1 It’s tangled, love: my life, and the hope that stretches, thin as the apple peelings I remember my mother discarding; I craved her apple crumble, and I haven’t had it for years. Yes, some things, we leave behind and others we carry, they’re unreleasable, unable to fall into the waste although they force a prodding - like sore teeth in an aching, wet mouth. This is my disease, this tangle of lines and affliction. Waitings, and unknown roads. If I could shake it all out I’d walk smoothly, knowing I could feast on my childhood safeties for the duration, for my seasons. 2 I remember playing elastics with the snooty girls who could always jump higher (but could they climb trees, catlike?) than I. Their breath flew out in great gasps with each triumph, and I saw myself in the tangles I made, their mockery rolling over me, and I thought of how I had deciphered my future from a cheap fortune telling book, how my dirty right palm told me I would be successful after struggle. Is success measured in the amount of burns I carry, and the strength they have supposedly infused? 3 Sometimes, I’d like the fantasy of weakness My lines are long now, they soar out past my palms and through the places I have been, the hearts I have caressed and burned. The hearth fire I knew is cold; I survive by an inner heat of memory and my electric heater, recalling days of thistle blossom breezing through my castles in the trees Aging, I’m surrounded by the blank looks of go-getters and vitamin poppers, all hoping for that extra year or two. I hope they live, in their ecstasy of body maintenance, I hope they feel the hurt that brings strength and a need to find weakness and relief. 4 Perhaps, time will bring you to me, and I will find one more tangle, and one more survival to scratch into the telling of my right palm. ~You can't see my eyes They don't see yours Hear me when I say They don't mind at all~ Delerium [This message has been edited by Severn (02-22-2003 07:21 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla...Sometimes it is hard to formulate a reply to something that is so personal and heart touching...so just hugging you, and voting. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
This is such an awesome write I have to give you my vote. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh Kamla, this is wonderful, sweet friend, remember the best palm reader is YOU, tarot cards can't detect weaknesses, you can, and truly in the short run you may feel weak, but in the long run, you find you are stronger than before and I think people miss that point sometimes! (big hugggssssss) This is marvelous, sweet friend, BRAVO, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kamla, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
You have stirred all of the senses. Nicely done, Severn. When you think you have heard it all, |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Kamla - this is very good. It gets my vote for sure! Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'It’s tangled, love: my life, and the hope that stretches, thin as the apple peelings I remember my mother discarding; I craved her apple crumble, and I haven’t had it for years. Yes, some things, we leave behind and others we carry, they’re unreleasable, unable to fall into the waste although they force a prodding - like sore teeth in an aching, wet mouth. This is my disease, this tangle of lines and affliction. Waitings, and unknown roads. If I could shake it all out I’d walk smoothly, knowing I could feast on my childhood safeties for the duration, for my seasons.' I started replying to this 5 minutes ago but I keep changing my mind about what lines I like most... ! Glad to see you here Kamla. At times, I saw this as though filmed on that old 8mm film my parents used, with the white dots at the beginning and end. Little girls jumping rope, in between... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
speechless SB..speechless. This would have to be my absolute favourite of yours. So glad you submitted and voting! Maree |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"'It’s tangled, love: my life, and the hope that stretches, thin as the apple peelings I remember my mother discarding; I craved her apple crumble, and I haven’t had it for years." Such a touching and powerful piece... I loved this so much! Oh, make me Thine forever |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Severn, girl, this is a beautiful poem, with so much meaning. I love it and think it should be in the book..... Hugs, Ethel |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
two very enthusiastic thumbs up... for the movie "New Zealand Nights" as for the poem... oh yuh!! |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
thumbs up on a pleasant prediction from the lines you read and hugs from Canada |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Is this the Canadian line up for thumbs up? Great as this just has to be in the book Severn, absolutely fantastic entry. I miss your poetry girl, write more will you? |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Admittedly I haven't read much of your work over in the archives but that is a sin soon to be mended. This is not cheap flattery I am seriously awestruck. [This message has been edited by Aenimal (02-22-2003 11:00 PM).] |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Hello Kamla..it has been so long since we spent that lovely afternoon at liz's. I was very touched by this wonderful poem...how deep you are and so gifted in putting your feelings to lovely poetry! Hugs, Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Hi Kamla....GREAT PIECE OF POETRY HERE!!!! It's been a long time since I read your writing....this needs to be in the book!!!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kamla, I was beginning to wonder when you were going to show up and submit one of your great works for 'Reflections'... Now you have made a choice and what an excellent one to submit... WOW I really have enjoyed reading you and would definitely love to read this one in print... Regards, my friend, Sudhir |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Hi K, I well remember this, since i was a pretty decent rope jumper in my childhood..don't think i was snooty though |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Awesome penned.......enjoyed it very much Charisma |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Voting (of course) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Many of your treasured memories are similar to ones that I have tucked away in my heart and soul. I enjoyed this travelog of your life's journey as well as your expressed thoughts, hopes, and dreams. Warm morning hugs, Earth Angel |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
hey k... smiling-- the fantasy of weakness... oh--me too... been waiting for you! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Your arm will get better dear, ( from my twisiting on it to post this ) but I don't think we will see better poetry than this. Should I be fortunate enough to see mine in the book, I hope it isn't paged alongside this one. J There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Kamla, this is awesome! Excellent expression! Life does have those tangles, doesn't it? You will get them all unraveled bit by bit, I've no doubt. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Kamla..I admire your writing ability.. You have such a unique style... This is beautiful, yet amazing. ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
"Perhaps, time will bring you to me, and I will find one more tangle, and one more survival to scratch into the telling of my right palm." Kamla...you've always had a way of pouring out your heart in your poetry and I've always liked your honesty. This is no exception. Wonderful work, I can never get to much of your free verse |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Kamla~ This is an excellent piece, and definitely one of my favorites of yours. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Hey there birthday girl!! /pip/Forum3/HTML/002314.html hugs J |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
This is beautiful, Kamla. You've shown us so much of you. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
This book deserves more than one poem from you. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
More hugs... and more votes... and more hugs... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Kamla... you have left me thinking... and you know for yourself, that is a good thing... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Lots of reflections and memories...something to warm the heart on a cold night.. Nicely done Kamla.. |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
speechless, thats . i dunno, i'm speechless. and, thats a good thing. here's my vote--click. -chris. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Your voice is solid and your footstep smooth, your lines untangled, your images clear, your talent unwavering, your thoughts in tact, your phrases original and splendid, your poetry magnificent. LIz |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
good write! ~Every girl has a dream within. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Happy Birthday, Kamla!!! |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Happy Birthday, DLP! and |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow...thanks for all the support guys - really, this is awesome... strangely, this is an older poem that had become prophetic...not self-fulfilling I would hope.. (and thanks for the bitday wishes too) hugs and more hugs K |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Gads! I wish that you wrote more or more often. In the meantime...this'll do Ed |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I dunno if this will do or not wranx-- i think she should submit another. J There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
and that won't be happening Jamie ~sweet smile~ so don't even TRY. K |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Not even if I beg- with tears in my eyes? There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Severn - you write of inner thoughts very well, my vote for this... BC |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
My vote too Titia |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
K~ I cant believe I have/nt seen this until now...(shame on me) because I think you have such a talent and gift to write feelings & emotions.....you do so with much style.....that it leaves any reader wanting more.... hugsss Lauren~ Take me where the tides start |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This is wonderful, K, in so many ways. Sandra |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
you can add my name to the list of people who think that this is one of your best ever. . .an excellent selection. . . good to see you again my friend. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
49 just seems so wrong-- 50 is a much better number J |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow. Didn't expect this kind of response... more thanks to you...hugs to everyone K |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I hope your arm is better after all that twisting Jamie claims he did. *G* I've just one question: Why did he have to? What took you so long? LOL Okay... that's two... but I'm using my blonde counting system. *G* Just wish I could do the same with voting... this is superb! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
you are so much younger than I am, and yet I remember some of the same things... I guess childhoods are universal *s M |
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Red Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 143Ca |
BRILLIANT |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
wow |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Splendid, it gets my vote |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I did J hk>lk There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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rodger_jr Junior Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 37Glen Hope, PA |
excellent writing |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
it's time you submit another please please please pls pls pls pls..... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Lol Kaile...nope, one's enough..but thank you muchly - I appreciate it hugs K |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Excellent as always. You take me into the recesses of my soul and I find truth there. This is what only a truely gifted writer can do. Marilyn |
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