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christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

0 posted 2003-02-15 01:34 AM

   jumper cables
   -------------

   [to mom, on going away to college]

   --

   radio grows lifeless now, as this broken car
   hits the radius of your kingdom ..

   and it's been miles
   since i've checked my rearview mirror
   but i still remember the
   pallid vanilla streetlamps flickering like candlelight lackluster
   and the silence of frosty hammocks
   in some quiet january morning, when
   i rolled the carwindows--halfway down
   and left the front door open, hoping that maybe
   you might surrender
   walk out and
   wave me goodbye ..

   .. but you never did

   because the thought of
   make-believe peachfuzz
   and
   half finished cerealbox crossword puzzles, forced your world
   to come crashing down into the acid aftertaste
   that decaf never had ..

   now, youve lavished yourself in plastic churches
   where there's nothing left to trust and
   in the most unsettling of all dreams;
   you believe ..
   place your faith
   in the jumpercables you tucked
   in the floorboard of this broken-down car.

   and maybe,
   maybe
   it's too soon ..
   but i'll be alright--i'll be alright ..

   --------------------------------------------
   "and i dont want the world to see me
   because i don't think that theyd
   understand,
   when everythings meant to be broken
   i just want you to know who i am"

   [goo goo dolls]
   --------------------------------------------

[This message has been edited by christian (02-15-2003 01:37 AM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2003-02-15 02:10 AM

(big hugggssssssss) It can be so difficult to say goodbye like that, I know because I love my mother so much also and I know she wants me to spread my wings and strengthen my roots but all the same I know I must grow on but reassure her I will never leave her as the love of a family is forever, the establishment of a special lifestyle! (sigh) This is a wonderful dedication, sweet friend, I know so many can relate to these feelings during adolescence especially, God Bless You, this is a hit, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Christian, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 2003-02-15 08:37 AM

Yes!!! Chris, you have a rare talent of really making free verse work. Lovely write!!

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2003-02-15 01:08 PM

I agree with hoot owl. This has all the necessary elements to making free-verse functional and effective. I love your wordings and descriptions. Very, very good work here.

Parasite

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-02-15 01:10 PM

I remember

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

5 posted 2003-02-15 03:33 PM

You are GOOD! love reading you. voting!

Maree

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-02-15 03:55 PM

Chris, this is a good poem. I know lots
of people relate to it....

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

RedTapePoetry
Junior Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 19

7 posted 2003-02-16 01:55 AM

EEK!! Is this a repost from you or a new poem, because I've never read it before. Maybe i just skipped over it..i dunno. I love it nonetheless. I'm in my sophomore year of college and this brings back a lot of emotions. Well done once again!

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

8 posted 2003-02-16 04:56 AM

This is an interesting piece aboutn a potentially difficult situation, I liked it

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

9 posted 2003-02-16 06:46 AM

man, i'm envious of your talent!

carol
Senior Member

since 2003-01-25

Posts 624
Florida USA

10 posted 2003-02-16 10:32 PM

Chris, i really like this

always treat others the way you want to be treated
Love from Rita

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

11 posted 2003-02-16 11:28 PM

kaile, what talent? i'm not talented, just
a little creative. i think if youre
inspired and instilled enough to want to
make words into emotion, you can.

there's no such thing as talent.

--chris.

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

12 posted 2003-02-18 07:07 AM

I loved the vantage you've captured this from, Christian ... an excellent piece, indeed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

13 posted 2003-02-18 07:07 PM

I remember this one...among my favorites of yours...a slice of American Pie.

Love it.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

14 posted 2003-02-18 07:32 PM

"Jumper Cables" is an interesting---and very creative title--for this "real write".

Have a great life!
EA

Stanley Climbfall
Junior Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 16

15 posted 2003-02-18 07:47 PM

My oh my, what marvelous feelings and perspectives you share through symbolism and analogy, a must for the publication may I add! Well done!

Stanley Climbfall

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

16 posted 2003-02-18 11:01 PM

radio grows lifeless now, as this broken car
   hits the radius of your kingdom ..

   and it's been miles
   since i've checked my rearview mirror
   but i still remember the
   pallid vanilla streetlamps flickering like candlelight lackluster
   and the silence of frosty hammocks
   in some quiet january morning,
========================================

I remember reading this when you first joined the forums...its still as impressive in its imagery and uniqueness.
very cool write poet sir.

" ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ...
if it finds you worthy ... it then directs your course."

K.Gibran

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

17 posted 2003-02-19 04:16 PM

stanley climbfall, hmmm .. lifehouse ..

sorry for reposting this. i would've
preferred to write something new and
include it here as oppose to bringing up
something old and over-read. but lately,
i've been in a slump when it comes to
writing.. i can't seem to find the
inspiration to write anything. i'm like
that though, eh .. droughts never last
forever anyway.

thanks guys.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

18 posted 2003-02-19 05:39 PM

It's got the rhythm of car engines starting on a cold, winter, university morning, with pizza rotting in the fridge and a backpack strap in need of repair.

Wow, memories.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

19 posted 2003-02-19 08:51 PM

I'm glad you've chosen to submit this one for the book. It is unique, well written, interesting, and a great example of your talent.

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

20 posted 2003-02-19 08:55 PM

I agree with everyone....this is interesting and unique....great poem for the book!!!!

Bridgette

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

21 posted 2003-02-19 09:02 PM

wish I couldn't relate to this one so well...I am one who throws jumper cables into broken down cars at times, absolving myself of responsibilities...

very, very well done

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

22 posted 2003-02-23 02:57 PM

I can't select just a
few of my favorite lines,
it would be the whole poem. *s

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

23 posted 2003-02-23 03:01 PM

Chris--enjoyed this one the first time, as now..and can relate from both sides of the jumper cable.

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

24 posted 2003-02-23 09:26 PM

man, i'm envious of your creativity

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

25 posted 2003-02-23 11:48 PM

Very well done, Chris.
I enjoyed this.
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

26 posted 2003-02-23 11:57 PM

Go straight to book....do not pass GO,.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

27 posted 2003-02-24 12:51 PM

christian - another winner, well written...

BC

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

28 posted 2003-02-24 05:53 AM

This is very well done.... your points of view are very interesting, creative and instinctive... and I like it ...

this one is a definite...

regards,
sudhir
P.S. I like the goo goo dolls as well...

[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (02-24-2003 05:53 AM).]

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

29 posted 2003-02-24 03:03 PM

hey, thanks guys.

-chris.

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

30 posted 2003-03-16 06:23 AM

this has to be in the book..i'm sorry i can't vote twice

Alicethruglass
Member

since 2001-06-19

Posts 368

31 posted 2003-03-17 06:51 PM

I would love to wave to you...

a very interesting and memory rising poem.

I have those jumper cables in my front seat

at least until I can get my car properly repaired.

~A~

rodger_jr
Junior Member

since 2000-05-16

Posts 37
Glen Hope, PA

32 posted 2003-03-17 09:23 PM

Cutting the cord is never easy

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

33 posted 2003-03-19 02:16 PM

thanks so much for having faith in this,
whatever the hell this is--it's one
of those poems that stands on substance.

and, it means a lot. i appreciate it.

--chris.

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