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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-12-29 01:48 AM

It was cold tonight,
the fog settling in on the mixture,
the warm air leaving, allowing
a mist to dampen my spirits.

Some days are not for the taking
and as I look at the empty reflection
staring back at me, I realize
that I am not who I think I am, anymore.

I hear my past in the tunes of today
and try to move to their rhythm
but I trip over feet, my own,
my heart no longer in it
and my feelings beginning to end.

In a few days it will be a new year
and I will still be under wraps,
trying to warm a place for myself,
somewhere, knowing I belong.

I am not sure what it is I want,
but I know at this moment, I don't have it
and in this darkness where I sit,
the only bright light comes from
creating a make-believe life in words.

A world of words begun, to first heal a wounded soul,
scarred and blinded by a truth I denied.
Some days I don't wish to open my eyes
to a tomorrow and would rather stay
within the bounds of my dreams.

I thought I had come a long way, but
tonight I realized, I have barely turned a corner
and maybe it is just dog-earred,
marked for my return until I can get it right.

And I will, for I believe in myself.
It's others that continue to rain their feelings
or lack of them upon me, often washing away my strength
until I find that emptiness staring back at me.

I was given a bluebird of happiness today
and hung it where I can see it daily, to remind me
that only I can make the day be mine,
as I give myself permission to be happy once again..

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2002-12-29 01:53 AM

*smile* M, I wish happiness for you at all times, every day, every night.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2002-12-29 01:57 AM

Don't ask me why I am up this late..I haven't been on this late since I first found the internet and began writing, almost 5 years ago. *s Thanks Dixie.
I am just tired I think of my life at the moment and need to direct it elsewhere.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2002-12-29 10:12 AM

I was given a bluebird of happiness today
and hung it where I can see it daily, to remind me
that only I can make the day be mine,
as I give myself permission to be happy once again..

Ah but M, you already know the answer....for it is in your verse. Hugs to you.

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

4 posted 2002-12-29 10:44 AM

When the choice you make
to have this day that is thine
be a day of writing,
all who read you benefit

Thanks for illuminating a part of you. KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2002-12-29 10:54 AM

M, don't forget what you just wrote at
the end of this...remember it always and
you will have those days where you are in
the place you feel you belong...

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

6 posted 2002-12-29 11:00 AM

"I thought I had come a long way, but
tonight I realized, I have barely turned a corner
and maybe it is just dog-earred,
marked for my return until I can get it right."

Ah Maureen ... I feel like you've written my heart and mind throughout this weave. Wonderful reflection in this piece ... a beautiful and flowing ponder. I very much related to your thoughts here.

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

7 posted 2002-12-29 11:27 AM

Maureen, I may not tell you enough, (though I try), but you are one of the most talented writers I have ever read. You can put your feelings in such beautiful and heartfelt words......something many of us are still attempting to do. I can only speak for myself, but you help me a lot with your beautiful poetry, sweet friend. You write exactly what I'm either feeling at the moment, or have felt in the past.

Please, just keep being yourself, sweet poetess. You may not realize how many different people you help and encourage by letting them know that someone else is having or has had similar feelings and emotions.
I, for one, thank you, dear Maureen for your poetry, and from the many responses you get, I'm sure that many others feel the same as I do.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2002-12-29 12:27 PM

Maureen

Thoughtful and introspective...with such a possitive ending...much enjoyed this truth of you.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

9 posted 2002-12-30 09:37 PM

"And I will, for I believe in myself"

That's the spirit dear lady.
It was such a joy meeting you in September, and although you were 'hiding' in your closet at night, you came out bright and shining every morning

and I hope you'll have a good year coming to you.

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

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