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Open Poetry #24
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Falling Back To Me
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Falling Back To Me |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA 
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I know I made my mistakes I know I pushed you away But I am so sorry now I know even an apology Might not bring you back I saw you yesterday In the arms of another man I wished your arms Were in mine again I felt a tear Roll down my cheek What have I done I was so stupid I was so dumb I stared as you walked with him I was so jealous I wanted to pummel him and Take you back But that is too much To hope for For I know you hate me That was a week ago I am still alone With nobody to love me With nobody to care But I still dream at night Your falling back to me And your mine Once more NOTE: This has nothing to do with my life.  Cold hands means a warm heart |
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| © Copyright 2003 the_loner_23 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
so Julie, were you writing this as if you were the other man or other woman...or both...I was a little confused when reading it *s and that final YOUR should be you're mine. M [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (02-11-2003 06:05 PM).] |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write here Julie... Good to let those feelings out. ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I was writing from the viewpoint of the man. It sounds better in poem if I did that. Thank you for reading. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
This was quite interesting Julie, seeing it from the man's point of view. In reality, I guess man or woman .... we all hurt at one time or another. hugs, Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
that's how I first read it, from a mans point of view. You did a very good job on this poem Julie. *s M |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
You set a very sad, intimate mood. Beautifuly written. Eric |
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ThunderMage Senior Member
since 2002-06-20
Posts 812Canada |
I love it almost as much as I love you Julie.  What is life without poetry and adventure? |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssssss) Oh Julie, I too know these feelings and am so glad these are not part of your own world right now! (sad sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Julie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Julie, I was a little confused when I read it, too. I knew if you were writing it from the woman's view point, there could possibly be some added complications. But, reading it again from the man's point of view, it's very understandable. Yes, men get their hearts broken, just like women do, don't they? You really did this well, Julie. I see more and more improvement with your work. I really enjoyed reading this one.  "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-12-2003 02:33 PM).] |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
interesting twist, |
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