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Open Poetry #24
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dhicks03
Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267
Missouri,USA

0 posted 2003-02-11 01:54 AM



Your argument came stealing, thief in night
Hidden somewhere between the shadowed moon
Watched as the stars disappeared from my sight
To be with you, would come to be me soon

For it is written, believed among many
Saving Grace, gathers my very breath today
One, but three, I believe in trinity
Yet some still reject Him, turn Him away

I cannot, shall not, wait no more, when time
Becomes only a distant, vapor trail
Will watch as my Spirit rejoices in rhyme
Off to meet Jesus, my wings I must sail

My prayers, your prayers, are answered true for you
That His Grace, and His Love, calls you home too

Note*My Son came home today, and said his homework was he had to write a Sonnet. After asking me if I would do it for him (He has a 5:45 AM Hockey Practice) and I agreeing to this he explained to me how to do it.

"It has to be fourteen lines Dad, and it goes AB,AB,CD,CD, EF, EF, and GG" he said.

At this moment I realized I had never written a sonnet, and now, after four hours, I realize why

Anyway, here it is.


© Copyright 2003 Dennis Hicks - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-02-11 02:10 AM


yeah Dad...I'm sure the teacher will believe your son really did this...*giggle*
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-02-11 06:32 AM



You realize, of course, that if your son's instructor is a member of Passions, and sees that you did this work, and your son turns it in, he will be guilty of plagarizing?     Put homework before hockey, Dad...

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
3 posted 2003-02-11 06:40 AM


well putting aside that his teacher won't believe he wrote it and he'll be plageurizing...
I love the poem!
Home.. sourrounded by true Family.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2003-02-11 09:26 AM


LOL - True Confessions here... There are other variations in rhyme scheme that can be used in sonnets as well.  The ababcdcdefefgg format is the classic Shakespearean for.  It should also be written in iambic pentameter, btw.. You've come close here... Close...

I enjoyed...

Brad Majors
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Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
5 posted 2003-02-11 12:05 PM


yes i don't think he'll pass this one off as his own but its very good non the less
garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-02-11 12:12 PM


Dennis, besides from the fact that doing your son'n homework for him being a  nono,  

this is a very good poem.....just reminds me that I've got to go to some of Nan's classes......

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

dhicks03
Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267
Missouri,USA
7 posted 2003-02-11 01:14 PM


Thank you all! Well, this was tougher than I thought, and I did cheat, As Nan I went into your school and read about sonnets

My son after getting 5 hours sleep, read it this morning. I had told him his teacher would know he didn't write it, he said "no she won't, she's dumber than a box of rocks" to which I said,"that's not very nice". We both sort of had a chuckle, so it remains to be seen if she catchs on or not.

This was very hard, my first attempt.
Thank you Nan for giving the directions.

Dennis

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
8 posted 2003-02-11 06:45 PM


he he   'dumber than a box of rocks'
really made me laugh.

Dennis, What a lovely dad you are, and you wouldn't be able to guess in a million years it was your first attempt at a sonnet. I'm impressed!
lots of love, gemma xxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

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