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Open Poetry #24
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Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-02-06 08:57 AM


Pewter, I decided
Was the color clouds took on
When it rained as it did that day.

A brittle grey filled with syllables
Dropping one after next
Cancelled plans to hike
Thomson’s wash
So it was Mt Dew and bed
Until I could no longer lie
And burgers became an excuse
To move.

The old Jeep smelled
Of her and I.

Three days together
And already stained seats
Had new spots marking places
The lust of her was explored on side roads.

I reached behind the seat
And pulled out the canvas bag
And unwrapped the oldest of the books
One started years ago and filled with half thoughts
Verses that only outlined the perimeter of feelings.

I found the passage I was looking for and read,

“Today...
white mares tails,
being blown across
a pale blue sky,
framed at the horizon
by mottled white bones
of sycamores,
contrasted with the
grey black
fingers of oak,
reminding me,
of Winter's beauty”

I wrapped it back and tied it.

It was late Fall now
And Winter would again be
Adding flakes of time


She was not a Winter person
And the passing of seasons I knew
Would also mark a passing of us
After a fashion,
Her bonfire of lust would keep us warm
Until she grew bored with the mottled bones
Of my thoughts and writing.
Then she would move on
Seeking someone warmer that did not shiver
On cold days when the wind blew words
In horizontal lines across sheets of white.


“Burgers” I heard myself say out loud to no one.

…………….

“Two Burgers” I said when I walked in
then noticed her shirt was wetter than mine
and knew her lust was on the rise.

“Eat first!” I laughed.
“I have something for you.”

She pouted lips in protest but agreed.

I reached in  my pocket and pulled out
the book I had written us,
turned to a blank page
And wrote,

“ For Rainy Days “

Closed and wrapped the book
Then handed it to her

“This” I said, “Is yours.”

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (02-06-2003 06:01 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2003-02-06 09:12 AM


"On cold days when the wind blew words
In horizontal lines across sheets of white."


I shouldn't really try to pick and choose favourite lines...
as I go back for yet another read I find more
lines that give me that quick uplifting rush
and the word 'ohhh' forms on my lips.
You are an amazing writer...
this is full of wonderful imagery!
Thank you for this smile so early in the day.
~morning hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-02-06 09:15 AM




(smiles) Wow!!! I'd love to see a spin-off of this in her perspective, it is exciting how we transmit such thoughts to one another and bookmark them at our own will! (big hugggsssssss) I love this, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-02-06 09:19 AM


quote:
I reached behind the seat
And pulled out the canvas bag
And unwrapped the oldest of the books
One started years ago and filled with half thoughts
Verses that only outlined the perimeter of feelings.

I found the passage I was looking for and read,

“Today...
white mares tails,
being blown across
a pale blue sky,
framed at the horizon
by mottled white bones
of sycamores,
contrasted with the
grey black
fingers of oak,
reminding me,
of Winter's beauty”


I know
this book....

smiling smiling smiling....

pjtalty
Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111
W.A., Australia
4 posted 2003-02-06 09:28 AM


Intriguing begining, enticing middle and wonderful ending. I was on that journey with you all the way. En route, I was charmed, calmed and warmed by the images; impressed by the style and captured by the tone. Well done and thanks for sharing this with me.

Patrick Talty

[This message has been edited by pjtalty (02-06-2003 09:29 AM).]

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2003-02-06 09:35 AM


nancy..thank you. you say the kindest things. they are much appreciated.

noah... this was written as a result of a "challenge" of sorts Ms Devine made to me in adult forums. It is a continuation of a whole series about Mercer's stemming from an original I posted some time ago. You might enjoy reading Ms Devines additions to see it written from another perspective.

Sunshine... OK..so I did cheat and pull out a passage from one of those old books, one written long ago in another lifetime.

Patrick... glad you found it entertaining. You might see my explanantion to noah and if you are interested read the others in the series over in adult. They are a bit more explicit so I caution everyone.


thanks all... the comments are appreciated

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

6 posted 2003-02-06 10:34 AM


ok, this for some reason, makes me cry...
incredible write my friend.....just incredible

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
7 posted 2003-02-06 10:36 AM




Ron,

This is absolutely more fulfilling and satisfying than the breakfast I'm about to have. Now, I am not even hungry! Gee, if I keep reading your poetry maybe I can loss the extra twenty (+).

Smiling here....soon, I'll go read the rest, but I'll eat first for I've a feeling it's gonna be too rich on an empty stomach.

I so enjoy your poetry. Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2003-02-06 10:41 AM


Ron--Beauiful imagery wraped around very real feelings.  Much enjoyed!
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
9 posted 2003-02-06 10:45 AM


you did it again.....

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

10 posted 2003-02-06 11:36 AM


JB... never intended to make you cry dear friend...  there are tears enough in life without me adding to them unneccesarily.

Pat..reading me is something one should not do on an empty stomach...but then again not sure you should on a full one either ( chuckling) thanks for the nice words.

Martie... dear friend..thank you.

Sea.. I did it again? wrote another of those corny tall tales of mine? ( smiling)

thank you all...



garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2003-02-06 11:44 AM


Well, Capt., you did do it again....wrote something that I feel like I  have  to go find the rest of.....

but we're not complaining, Sir.  


Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2003-02-06 12:29 PM


good God man! Will you ever stop?

*I hope not*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2003-02-06 12:30 PM



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2003-02-06 01:01 PM


Today...
white mares tails,
being blown across
a pale blue sky,
framed at the horizon
by mottled white bones
of sycamores,
contrasted with the
grey black
fingers of oak,
reminding me,
of Winter's beauty”


I wrapped it back and tied it.

It was late Fall now
And Winter would again be
Adding flakes of time


She was not a Winter person
And the passing of seasons I knew
Would also mark a passing of us
After a fashion,
Her bonfire of lust would keep us warm
Until she grew bored with the mottled bones
Of my thoughts and writing.
Then she would move on
Seeking someone warmer that did not shiver
On cold days when the wind blew words
In horizontal lines across sheets of white.


=================================


You Rock...and it rolls me

Today...
white mares tails,
being blown across
a pale blue sky,
framed at the horizon
by mottled white bones
of sycamores,
contrasted with the
grey black
fingers of oak,
reminding me,
of Winter's beauty”



could that verse be any more stunning????
no said the moth

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
15 posted 2003-02-06 01:23 PM


I was reading the two of you in Mature this morning..wasn't sure I could handle reading any more of the story...especially after deVines...
*s
M

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
16 posted 2003-02-06 03:09 PM


Ron,

an exquisitely painful read, if that makes any sense.

I'll have to wonder over to adult sometime (don't go there often) and check out the rest of the series.

Cor

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2003-02-06 03:18 PM


"then noticed her shirt was wetter than mine
and knew her lust was on the rise."

I loved those lines.  Maybe I should read more in the adult forum....

Beautiful writing.

Susan C.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

18 posted 2003-02-06 03:22 PM


In horizontal lines across sheets of white

Wow, love the above lines.
Love the poem too, packed filled with imagery.

Maree

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

19 posted 2003-02-06 04:38 PM


not your fault I cry my friend, this just reminds me when I had 'want to' in my life...and today I have 'barely existing'...sigh...getting older...and learning that those things are in the past and NOT coming back.....sigh..
now your writing is another story...every line superbly crafted.....these should be published..
and yes, I have said that before, but it bears repeating.....and
repeating *soft smile*

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

20 posted 2003-02-07 12:03 PM


'So it was Mt Dew and bed
Until I could no longer lie
And burgers became an excuse
To move.'

I wish I had followed this series, but this sure stands well on it's own.  And for reasons I'm not sure about, the lines I quoted above have struck me each time I read this.  I love those lines.
And I love the idea of the book, too.  

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
21 posted 2003-02-07 07:32 AM


The lust of her was explored on side roads

This is a gorgeous read, Ron. and I can't help not laughing out loud at the above line

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
22 posted 2003-02-07 07:33 AM


er, library...
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
23 posted 2003-02-08 01:05 AM



Ron~
This is an incredible write, and I love it.
You, sir, are a very talented poet.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
24 posted 2003-02-08 01:13 AM


wow! this is wonderful! Great imagery
I don't have the words... but wanted to say, I love this.
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

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