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KristieSue

Senior Member

since 2003-01-31

Posts 1460
PA, US

0 posted 2003-02-04 08:54 AM

I see in your sad brown eyes
a look of pain and anger
As tears threaten to invade
You put up your wall

I hear the anger in your words
and the pain is louder yet
You can try to hide it in laughter
but I know you too well for that

I feel the weight on your shoulders
as I wrap my arms around your body
Just let go and let me help you
This is me you are talking to

The smell of fear is bitter
victory is so much sweeter
hand and hand we can conquer
whatever the world throws at you

Lets drink a toast to each other
your enemies blood the wine
let your eyes smile with joy
and your shoulders lift with pride

KristieSue
Feb 2003

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

1 posted 2003-02-04 09:50 AM

Nice emotions presented in this,
But I’d prefer a stricter format and rhyme,
Just my preference.

Gloom

KristieSue

Senior Member

since 2003-01-31

Posts 1460
PA, US

2 posted 2003-02-04 11:58 AM

I do that at times, but sometimes I like to just sit and add another format to a poem. I haven't written for over a year...so this was a first attempt again.

Thanks for your opinion.

KS

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-02-04 12:06 PM

Hey KristieSue!

Good to see you! Glad you made it!

(what took you so long?)

PS-good writing! keep on going!

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

4 posted 2003-02-04 01:01 PM

I liked this very much, I don't really understand all the stuff about formats etc, never did and probably never will. I enjoy reading and feeling the writer's passions, yes! I really liked this.

I be me BUT who does me be?

KristieSue

Senior Member

since 2003-01-31

Posts 1460
PA, US

5 posted 2003-02-05 12:12 PM

PS....cause SOMEONE never told me about it!!! LOL I would have trampled on in here awhile ago, but I didn't know about it. I figured everyone just went their merry own way and forgot about each other for the most part.... *sigh* Kind of like Sweetly's poetry board.... Thanks for the kind words! I will post more. I haven't written for a year (+) so it'll be neat to see what my brain tells my fingers to say.

Spirit....me neither, and thank you!!!

HUGGLES all

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