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Open Poetry #24

Relker's Ridge

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-02-03 04:13 PM

In crisp smoke
Small flakes drift
With a sting
On exposed skin
Stinging red

and I remember

Your mittened hand
In mine we trudged
Finding pines piled limbs
Drooping heavy
But still allowing us
Room to hide

Here calm
The fog of your breath
Held words too warm
For this winter place
And with laughter
You teased
Spring

Seeping cold cut short
And we sought fire
Built in rock faced comfort
Of that cabin

But
Paths home
Had been broken
In drifts
Leaving scars on
What was pristine

Reminding me
memories too
sting with
Crisp smoke
from bridges
burned

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (02-03-2003 04:20 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2003-02-03 04:20 PM

Ron..may I just say..I LOVE THIS!!!
The images this conjures up are fantastic!
And therefore it's a for my library.
Extremely well done sir.
~Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2003-02-03 04:22 PM

...The fog of your breath
Held words too warm
For this winter place
And with laughter
You teased
Spring...

Yes...I have seen just this sight
between lovers...

excellent imagery, Cap'n...

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

3 posted 2003-02-03 06:40 PM

Enjoy the entire poem; yes, lots of imagery...but the last two stanzas, my favorite....though sad...

Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-02-03 07:22 PM

Reminding me
memories too
sting with
Crisp smoke
from bridges
burned
=========================

are you sure you werent a moth in another life?

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

5 posted 2003-02-03 08:16 PM

This is absolutely fantastic!!! You've brought so many images to mind with your words I'm almost in sensory overload

Wow, and the final lines....perfect!!!!!

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