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Open Poetry #24
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My Black House
| Open Poetry #24 |
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My Black House |
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Barbara Trautman Member
since 2002-10-23
Posts 90 |
A recurring dream of my childhood probably because my own childhood home was bereft of love. A black house of many rooms Lives in my childhood dreams A house where doors stand open Light spilling forth, slicing the darkness It invites, it beckons, it promises. Laughter and voices scatter like stars Care, love, enjoyment draw me near. A house built by childhood wishes With open doors, windows of light People who care, people who love Laughter, gaiety, rapture within Enjoyment prevails, darkness surrounds. I reach to open the door Chains prevent my entry, I cannot go in. That same black house, doors open wide Another night, another dream Lights glow bright, dispelling gloom People are reading, chatting, laughing Music permeates the black stillness. I reach to open the door The lights go off, quietness, black again. Returning to my childhood dreams That black house with love inside Always preventing my entry This time there are no lights, no windows No gaiety, no one there, it is a black house. I'm allowed to open the door to this house A trapdoor beckoning me into blackness, despair. I cry out, this is not my dream home This black, forbidding place Childhood dreaams will not build my true home My true home lies waiting within myself My love of life will scatter this blackness. I will build my own dream house I will fill it with lightness and love from my soul. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Barbara Trautman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Barbara, Amen and that will make you whole. Enjoyed |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Powerful words. Thank you. Eric |
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Barbara Trautman Member
since 2002-10-23
Posts 90 |
Thank you for your kind words. Your encouragement gives me great hope. Barb |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
great write! I can relate...I had my own black house and still go there now and then |
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Sun of faith Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 101 |
"My true home lies waiting within myself My love of life will scatter this blackness. I will build my own dream house I will fill it with lightness and love from my soul." Love these lines, keep believing in yourself! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
 ...A very insightful write, Barbara... |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Wonderfully said, Barbara. I enjoyed this. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (02-03-2003 08:07 PM).] |
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poohbear19 Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 94Colorado, USA |
Very insightful and such a great write. Nicely done! Keep on writing and never let anyone bring you down for poetry is the music everyone fears with its powerful words and grace....thank you so very much for sharing. Andrea |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Barbara, this is so heartbreaking and ever so familiar to me too, sweet friend, I grew up in a depressing childhood and now am stronger than ever but the scars will always be with me in the boy in my heart! (sad sigh) I send angel hugs of healing to you, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barbara, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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*Star* Junior Member
since 2003-02-03
Posts 32Iowa |
Thank you for giving me the chance to read something that so perfectly describes what I feel. "Home" unfortunately isn't always a safe, loving place, but I am sure that someone who is able to write as beautifully as you is creating a beautiful, caring home. |
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Barbara Trautman Member
since 2002-10-23
Posts 90 |
You guys! You're so supportive. You make me feel so great. This writing can become addictive. From being a timid closet writer, I'll probably deluge you all with the sad contents of my dreary (mostly) life. There are sunshine moments and times to laugh but first I seem to have to wipe away all the tears and you are helping me soooooooo much. Thank you again and again. Barb |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Barbara, Your poem, as well as your replies touched my heart. I have had a lot of "black" times in my life, though they came after I got married and left home. I admire you for being able to write about those times in your life. It will bring healing of the scars faster, I believe. I have a very hard time getting those times in my life into words. That's why I write about the happy times with my Love so much. I have had quite a bit depression at different times of my life, so I try to think of happy things. I would like for the scars to be completely healed, though. Maybe one day I can write about those things that are so depressing. Well, once again, I've gotten long-winded in my reply. Sorry, but your poem made me think a lot. Thanks for sharing your heart, Barbara...  [This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-04-2003 11:59 AM).] |
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Lisann Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350 |
Good job on this write.......as an abuse survivor I can relate very well to this poem. I have managed to conquer my own demons and fill my own house with love.....and trust. Wishing you the same. |
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Barbara Trautman Member
since 2002-10-23
Posts 90 |
To: Garysgirl. I'm sorry I'm so slow in responding but real life does have a hold on me. I am becoming addicted to PIPs but don't always get around to answering. Your response touched my heart so deeply. Thank you for sharing such deep pain with me. An abusive childhood is so lastingly scarring that it is almost impossible to leave behind. In my case, I could bury the bad times but it colored my life so much, ie. distrust of others, not wanting to open myself to others, being guarded and superficial. Now, there is nothing that I want more than to buurrow as deep as I must to find out who I would have been if I hadn't had the childhood I had. Even my voice has been affected to such an extent that I cannot sing. My speaking voice is unpleasant to the ear. I once had a childhood playmate ask me why I used one voice when we were playing and another when I answered her parents. Childhood experiences are deeply hurtful. I do hope that you will at least try to write of yours. It seems everyone in this Forum is very supportive and non-threatening. Try and I am sure you will find much of the pain just pouring out. I will watch for you. Love, Barbara |
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