»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #24
»
The Clinic
| Open Poetry #24 |
|
The Clinic |
|
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I pulled to open just like the stencil on the door recommended and walked inside. The Highland Avenue Clinic was cleaner than some I’d seen but the smell was exactly the same, an assortment of maturing body odors and rubbing alcohol, at once nauseating and soothing. I looked around for all the expected places, check in window, dispensing area, waiting room. Only two people waiting. ‘Can I help you?’, a small voice floated through a round hole in the glass. ‘I need to register, please’. She reached into a drawer on her right, for the standard, one-sided, let’s hope even an addict knows his name, large print, government form. Of course, there would be more thorough inquiries later, but not before Kool-Aid. Clinic etiquette, I smiled to myself. I took the clipboard as she passed it through and began filling out the sheet, still standing at the window. She tapped a fingernail on the glass and tipped her head in the direction of the waiting room. I mouthed, ‘sorry’, and sat down in the first chair I reached. I’d been printing since I was 4 years old yet I struggled to control the pen. The questions, the answers, all memorized for those times when the pain was greater than it was today. I finished the sheet, returned it to the window and went back to my seat to wait. It wasn’t until a counselor, came out and spoke, ‘Sara?’, that I deliberately looked towards the small, dirty blonde curled into a corner chair. I waited for a change in heartbeat, as recognition seeped into what little peace I’d been carrying around since I last saw her horizontally reflected, lined in jet stream clouds. I closed my eyes quickly, hoping to become invisible but a voice from behind the glass called, ‘Aidan’, betraying me. I looked up just as Sara, turned around. |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I waited for a change in heartbeat, as recognition seeped into what little peace I’d been carrying around since I last saw her" I always love your poetry, but when you do it, like this, you mesmerize.... [This message has been edited by SEA (01-27-2003 12:45 PM).] |
||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
loving this...and the story continues... not sure this is going to end well...but so many things in life don't... |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan A moment of a moment, enjoyed. |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I liked Seymours response.." A moment of a moment" *s M |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Line by line, exact scene...I see it, I've been there...was there while reading it.... you wrote this well....I am interested in a continuation, too..... Enjoyed a great deal...Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Duncan - as I read this I could picture myself right there... BC |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan--You are a see-er and a tell-er and your timing is great!....that's a good thing. |
||
|
jade dragoness Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 76 |
and those eyes betrayed fear and resignation filtered through the tears |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She reached into a drawer on her right, for the standard, one-sided, let’s hope even an addict knows his name, large print, government form. Of course, there would be more thorough inquiries later, but not before Kool-Aid. Clinic etiquette, I smiled to myself. ==================================== I waited for a change in heartbeat, as recognition seeped into what little peace I’d been carrying around since I last saw her horizontally reflected, lined in jet stream clouds. ================================= you have me hanging on your every "long winded muse's" word... gonna give me a soft place to fall?  Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky. |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Duncan, this was one of those that I read faster and faster to see what the ending was going to be...then....it was over... continuance....please???? |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Excellent descriptive writing. This feel haunting, somehow. Sandra |
||
|
Tari Miriel Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 69The state of mind |
You are quite the story teller~ Tari |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh gosh, I think I'll wait for the men in their white coats, I know they're out there. You move the reader with this story that you've told! Good work Duncan~ |
||
|
Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
You have quite the way with a story Dunc. The way you describe it makes the reader feel like they’re right there in that clinic. Great writing. You can never win or lose |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Wow, you sure love to capture the moment, this reminded me of one of Cpat's writes, which means this is very good! (big hugggssssssss) I love this, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
