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Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

0 posted 2003-01-22 07:21 PM

I once had no time,
Or no care.
Now I'm up,
And aware.

I no longer wait,
For you to get here.
Now you'll be here,
For all your years.

I'm glad your home,
When I will rise.
No more having to say,
All those good-byes.

The days are better,
With you by me.
Our love is great,
Would you agree?

Now my heart is full,
Of love and care.
Anything else,
Just wouldn't compare.

I love you my girl,
And that is true.
I know you love me,
As I love you.

I put a lot of feeling into this poem... So please, Tell me what you realy think.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

1 posted 2003-01-22 07:43 PM

Connel - your thoughts are in what you write. A great poet in my opinion takes time to develop. Keep writing...

BC

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

2 posted 2003-01-22 07:54 PM

Awwww connel, it shows. from this, i can see how this person has changed your life, how you always want her near, how she completes your life, and fills every gap. thanks for sharing such intimate thoughts from the heart and mind.
lots of love, gemma xxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-01-22 11:35 PM

(smiles) Bill and Gemma are right, the best poets are those who keep writing and anyone can be a good poet, it is all just a matter of writing, reading other works and listening to music, and learning of the world around you that helps a poets heart grow with understanding and appreciation! (sigh) God Bless You, sweetn friend, remember this, poetry is derived from the Latin word poesia, meaning "to create", so keep creating this wonderful poetry for your sweetheart and the world, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chris, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

4 posted 2003-01-23 01:35 AM

there is a bit melody here..I mean this could go for a song and you might think of a refrain...take Bill's point of view:you're thoughts are well placed...and it needs working,
If it were me writing, the lines would be deepened to give more color and life to your sentences..this is just a suggestion

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-01-23 01:57 AM

Connell, I could feel lots of heart and feeling in this one.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2003-01-23 02:58 AM

from the heart, definately!

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