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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-12-16 03:17 AM

"no more"

no more

I cannot think.

The clock
she eats
patience away.

I am the toe
of foot tapping.

My fury
is the dawn of day.

Feel the grind
of tooth on tooth.
Back and forth
so rough
and smooth.

I am impatient
flick of ash--

dismissal
of the
hardly glanced.

"Some more?"

yes, more

I can't stop think.

The clock
is ticking

me

awake.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (12-16-2002 03:21 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2002-12-16 03:20 AM

I get this way sometimes...but cant seem to shut it down or get it going. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a switch?

[This message has been edited by passing shadows (12-16-2002 03:20 AM).]

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2002-12-16 07:53 AM

Vividly told in sparse words..I could see you in this.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2002-12-16 06:20 PM

serenity~
Agreeing with Sharon here...I could picture this as well.
You've painted the scene perfectly.
Hugs,
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

4 posted 2002-12-16 11:53 PM

Loved this. An awesome portrayal of mood. i think that makes sense
raph

Fee
Member

since 2000-08-07

Posts 381
Melbourne, Australia

5 posted 2002-12-17 12:50 PM

I can relate to this so well, one of my favorite sayings at times I feel this way is:-

"God please give me patience - But hurry!"

Hugs Fee

Expressions,
are the most important aspects, they create impressions

0'.".'0 Just
((T)) Thinking
(..)(..) Of you
(```)_(```)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-12-17 03:12 AM

Thanks all for "getting" it...

just a mood-shot of restlessness.

Thanks much for reading.

(seems like it is on me again--

)

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

7 posted 2002-12-18 09:45 AM

an almost demonic grip it has.. that..

learned to let go by traveling... used to could not sleep, could not stop the think... until one night on a plane from LA home..I just gave it up... somewhere over the Rockies at 11PM... it just wasn't worth it anymore.

Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

8 posted 2002-12-18 09:52 AM

I was a bit confuesed the first time i read it, and i read it again... And i still am... lol... But overall.. Its a good poem,.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2002-12-18 12:09 PM

You brought it all back to me! Restless nights full of angst--and adrenaline! I am so glad those times are over!
Gawd, you're good!

hugs,
EA

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

10 posted 2002-12-18 04:08 PM

oooooh loved the flow of the poem. and the description and mood. loved. it's going in my library!
lots of love, gemmaxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

11 posted 2003-01-15 02:22 PM

SerenitySweetie, gosh how I've missed reading your poetry...
Much2catch up on so please bear with me...
A treasure of a read (as always dearFriend)...
Hugs2u
*~coco~*

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

12 posted 2003-01-15 02:34 PM

serenity,
Take two asprin and call me in the morning,
enjoyed.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

13 posted 2003-01-15 05:42 PM

I can't stop think.

~*~

How well I know
this feel.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

14 posted 2003-01-15 06:40 PM

Ser.  you painted the stir of restlessness
very well.  where were the nails tapping on
the cup?  Ya got just about everything else,
including one of my favorites...

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

15 posted 2003-01-15 06:59 PM

enjoyed

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

16 posted 2003-01-15 07:51 PM

Loved this more the second time around, your words demand to be reread and savoured

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

17 posted 2003-01-16 01:11 PM

Someone said...
go read
so I did...
again!

[This message has been edited by Decaflame (01-16-2003 01:12 PM).]

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

18 posted 2003-01-27 01:26 PM

Intensity in sweeping hands
and unquiet thoughts.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

19 posted 2003-01-27 04:48 PM

Don't you ever tire out and sleep?

no answer needed *s
hugssss and warmth
Maureen

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