navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » Deep Dark Hours
Open Poetry #24
Post A Reply Post New Topic Deep Dark Hours Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
enchantingvamp
Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214
Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas!

0 posted 2003-01-17 05:58 AM


The deep dark hours of the night
are the worst for her
she lies perfectly still
in an oversized bed
listening to the
tick tock tick tock
of the grandfather clock
as they resound through
her house
like gun shots

the deep dark hours of the night
are the worst for her
she lies perfectly still
in an oversized bathtub
listening to the
plip plop plip plop
of a facet that never stops
staring at a shiny new razor
wishing she were weak enough
to use it

Nature has a funny way of breaking that which will not bend....Jewell

© Copyright 2003 Leona Hill - All Rights Reserved
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
1 posted 2003-01-17 12:13 PM


wow, this was very striking. hope she isnt weak enough to use it, ever. liked the eerie atmosphere you set with ur words. enjoyed!
lots of love, gemma xxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Ada'doLisdo'ti
Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123
California
2 posted 2003-01-17 12:44 PM


I enjoyed reading this piece....As always when I read a piece written by you, another good one.

Of all I've lost; I miss my innocence  the most.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
3 posted 2003-01-17 12:46 PM


like how the tranistion went, i know its not you so im not going to lecture
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-01-17 12:57 PM


enchantingvamp
Good write, sad content.

enchantingvamp
Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214
Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas!
5 posted 2003-01-17 01:02 PM


Thanx 4 the feedback guys  smiles

Nature has a funny way of breaking that which will not bend....Jewell

CSKpoet
Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845
Island in Paradise
6 posted 2003-01-17 01:17 PM


powerful with well written emotion
yep this is what it is like when "lonely" comes to visit in the night.
great job!
Cher

Poetry is:
Passion, imagination and intellect running together.

Aloha with warmest regards, Cheryl Stewart Koomoa

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-01-17 01:19 PM


God! This is raw!
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2003-01-17 03:55 PM




I truly love this poem, but cannot relate to the last lines and I'll go with what Michele said. I'm not suicidel, I would tend to be more homicidal, smiling here....am actually neither...but can relate to the strong feelings of the write. Too many do go off the deep end, how sad.

Enjoying your talent,
Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2003-01-19 05:20 AM


Interesting...some would consider it weak and some strong...James
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » Deep Dark Hours

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary