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Open Poetry #24
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I Grieve
| Open Poetry #24 |
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I Grieve |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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In dark of night at the wane of the day - I grieve Cannot hear the voice that holds me to stay - believe A night of resting but none there for me - I cry In darkness of soul no heart victory - I sigh Tossing and turning with sleep gone away - I mourn Weeping the night until break of the day - till dawn Wishing that change could come over this place - for me Take back to myself the emptiest space - to be All in a moment a blink in the night - life changed And then you were gone,away from my sight - so strange Nothing to keep you, no more could I try - I weep Hold to the memory, wish I could die - in sleep I pray that the morning will never come - I grieve Otherwise pray that this grief will be done - to breathe On wings of angels I rise, go to you - I yearn While here in this torment I sit, I stew - in burn Why did you go must you leave me like this? - to mourn Lost in the darkness without lover's kiss - so worn Waiting or watching and active or still - heart cleaved Tomorrow is coming, I don't care till - I've grieved Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I really like this Especially the dual rhymes, I can hear voices reading One the main line, three of four choirs the second rhyme. Well done Gloom |
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neveah5 Member
since 2002-11-22
Posts 197Ohio |
Enjoyed this Kethry  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This touches on the many facets of what is a multi-emotioned process. The rhyme scheme tempers what might otherwise be overwhelming. Well done Mith Keth!  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very nice Kethry - A poem within a poem - I enjoyed this one a lot.. |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Kethry, I love the way you did this.......   "Love makes the world go around" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
 your rhymes ROCK!!! Teach me oh poetess Keth...does this rhyme scheme/format have a name? VERY VERY IMPRESSIVE write girl...very cool. It's over long before her fall from grace, she's never been this far from safe. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very touching, great work! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This is fantastic!!!! Not only have you exquisitely described a very painful process... you've done so in an incredible rhyme scheme. *S* Now if only talent could be absorbed through osmosis, I'd sit and read this over and over all day. *S* And may do so, anyway... just to admire. *S* |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
really well written and poetic and feeling all at once |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
An interesting format, enjoyed the way you wove your words and thoughts back and forth. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Kethry~ This is an excellent write. I love the style as well as the rhythm and flow of this. VERY nicely penned. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
I love this style, brilliant. Write on! Nature has a funny way of breaking that which will not bend....Jewell |
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