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Open Poetry #24
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Crouching
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Crouching |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia 
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Crouching in the trees ready to strike, California cougar. Crouching on my knees, ready to recoil, mourning me. Riding roaring Pacific waves, ready to surf the crest. Sitting crosslegged on the jetty, not wanting to leave this nest. I saw the sunset before it was over. It sank faster than my heart. I saw the crescent moon rise, shining brighter than your heart. The sands of time slipped too fast, the hourglass stood still; turned it over in my mind, time proved I loved you, always will. Crouching in the coastal grass, I saw the wind blow free; across the tides of Love it blew, sweeping you away from me. The beach walks wore my soles away, my hair and face blended into gray as nightime faded into day, you said goodbye, then walked away. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kathleen Kacy Stafford - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very illusional effect here...I like it |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Well done. Enjoyed. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
excellent images! enjoyed.. "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Wow, Kacy... this is one of my favorites so far. I could really feel the weight of your heart and could definitely relate. VERY well done! -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Kacy I really love the rythm of this poem. Great work as usual raph |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
i enjoyed the beachtheme here, the wind taking it all away, the whole interrelationship of life and love |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
i dont understand the free verse of the first stanza. i mean, all the rest of the stanzas rhyme. i guess it could serve as some sort of invitation image to the poem, but aside from that .. i dont get the rebellion of its free verse. um, good poem though--it painted a picture. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
passing shadows, Daniel,sandpiper, Raph, inked goddess THANKS! I struggled a bit with this one. It makes me smile that you liked it. Thanks MARK! You've surfed the Love rocks too, heh? Welcome to Passions, Christian. The first part began as a totally different poem idea, and just merged itself with the ocean scene. And somehow it makes sense to me as an intro. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"I saw the sunset before it was over. It sank faster than my heart. I saw the crescent moon rise, shining brighter than your heart." Beautiful. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Kacy, this is wonderful but heartwrenching, sweet friend, it too can feel so desolate making those pirouettes in the Chinook winds on the sand dunes without that one beside you! (sigh) This is heartfelt, sweet friend, I send angel hugs your way, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kacy, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Karen, thank you for taking time to read and relate. Happy full moon night.  Now go twirl and dance and chant a happy spell, for the world needs more witches like you.Noah, thanks sweetie. In So Cal we called them the Santa Anas, they are the same as Chinook, Devil Winds, and maybe Mariah. They stir up many memories. |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
I like the way you did this, the rhythm, the images,......the message that most everyone can identify with, coool~! *S* |
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Laney Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 85Illinois |
Excellent write!! I very much enjoyed this! These are the stanzas I enjoyed most: I saw the sunset before it was over. It sank faster than my heart. I saw the crescent moon rise, shining brighter than your heart. The sands of time slipped too fast, the hourglass stood still; turned it over in my mind, time proved I loved you, always will. Two Thumbs Up!!  --Alana |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Kacy, aren't memories wonderful? (good ones, that is) "Love makes the world go around" |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Tone, Laney, Ethel; thanks for reading and commenting on this poem, the writing of which released me (I hope) from an ancient heart pain. |
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