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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2003-01-13 01:13 AM

I can't help
but feel
pathetic
waiting
waiting
words on screen
I can't help
but hate
myself
waiting
waiting
so obscene
just like
in the restaurant--
I'll wait to order meal...

he will be here...
sorry eyes
from waiter
"Of course"
hypnotized
downcast
sweetness to the floor
as he backs away...

he knows how this will end.

I tell him, "I'm not hungry now."
He nods. He smiles
and with a look
he orders me
another drink
whispering:
"It's on the house."

He brushed a speck from tablecloth.

I wished that it were me.

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

1 posted 2003-01-13 01:15 AM

He could have at least used a crumber. Tha jernt had a tablecloth didn't it? Cheer up kid.

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

2 posted 2003-01-13 02:54 AM

Serenity~
Waiting, waiting is all I can say
Will he show, or like smoke from your cigarette just fade away
Listen, listen to the music as Billy Joel begins to play

Enjoyed...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (01-13-2003 03:00 AM).]

enchantingvamp
Member

since 2002-12-21

Posts 214
Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas!

3 posted 2003-01-13 02:59 AM

absolutely fabulous!!!!!!!
this is most assuredly being added to my read daily list. I loved being a part of that moment, the ones that are so hard to catch on paper sometimes because of their very nature.....great piece!

Nikolette Sadness

Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 337
port richey fl.

4 posted 2003-01-13 03:08 AM

oh if only wishes could come true...

i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-01-13 04:26 AM

find that spunk and put it to work, girl!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

6 posted 2003-01-13 05:17 AM

soul aches....

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

7 posted 2003-01-13 09:06 AM

Oh god...this is how I feel every time I go to a movie alone. I think it will be okay then I see all the couples....its all I can do not to cry every time. Rejection and longing, each sits on a shoulder.

I feel you on this one.

Susan

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-01-13 09:08 AM

ouch...

on the house is little to console being stood up...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2003-01-13 09:11 AM

serenity
No sympathy from me, you're a big girl. LOL

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2003-01-13 09:20 AM

Good stuff Karen!
Excellent ending on this piece...
Gee, and I know this feeling so well.
~Hugs YOU~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

11 posted 2003-01-13 09:41 AM

enjoyed

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

12 posted 2003-01-13 12:31 PM

To be a speck, one must first become a crumb.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

13 posted 2003-01-13 12:35 PM

Thanks for reading, and methinks my seymour is giggling at me a bit.

He KNOWS me, and probably feels sorry for the dummy who would suffer my wrath for doing such a thing. I am comancheeeeeeeeeeeee....

hugs and chuckles with my gratitude.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

14 posted 2003-01-13 01:03 PM

serenity - oh, he would probably have gotten spinach stuck in his front teeth and wiped his mouth on the table cloth anyway. Wonderful write!! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

15 posted 2003-01-13 01:06 PM

Karen, I was thinking the same as you said Mr. Seymour was thinking......
Me thinks Serenity Witchey WOULD NOT be "waiting" for very long......
And if Karen happened to have to, there would be something to pay for whoever made her have to wait...LOL...

You go, girl....

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-13-2003 09:37 PM).]

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

16 posted 2003-01-13 01:13 PM

Ouch! No one should see his or her self as a mere speck to be brushed aside. Rather a five-course meal to be savored. May the culprit wallow in his hunger.

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

17 posted 2003-01-13 01:29 PM

A little speck? Hardly dear lady. You are one of a kind..

I agree with Dixie, get that spunk back. No one deserves to be a mere speck brushed away with little to no thought. Spread them wings, and fly

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

18 posted 2003-01-13 01:51 PM

Interesting write...I was touched by the sensitivity the waiter showed...people do care about others...sometimes the source of that compassion is unexpected..

believe in what your heart feels...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

19 posted 2003-01-13 02:43 PM

lol@Sy's reply...yes..he knows you well.

and "a speck" couldnt work a metaphor like you just did in this...
pathetic? no....its just not easy being a moth baby

It's over long before her fall from grace, she's never been this far from safe.
Trying to see where it all began, she'll never be the same again.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

20 posted 2003-01-13 06:41 PM

You know
I know
You know, I know. Yanno?

The verse is nice though, no?

~yeti

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

21 posted 2003-01-21 03:13 AM

Karen~
Loving the write and smiling at the replies.
Nope...not even close to a 'speck'...you're amazing.
This is excellent, friend.
Hugs,
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

22 posted 2003-01-21 03:25 AM

Well, if this isn't a familiar tale. Why do women spend so much time waiting? - not fare! I really enjoyed the way it was written, though.
Excellent poem!
Liz

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

23 posted 2003-01-27 01:29 PM

Twisting like the flame on the table.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

24 posted 2003-01-27 04:22 PM

enjoyed your words..and got a laugh out of your response to Seymour.. *s

hugss
M

Poetic Bard
Member

since 2003-01-22

Posts 84
Canada, BC

25 posted 2003-01-27 04:28 PM

Very touching, I can relate to that sceen, though, if the parts where pased on real life, I would have been the waiter. But none the less, very beautiful and heart felt. Got me remembering.

I bleed, you all read, and may the blood never stop spilling for loss of emotion would be all too damning.
~Joel

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