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Open Poetry #24
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loser [acoustic#12]
| Open Poetry #24 |
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loser [acoustic#12] |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
loser [acoustic #12] -------------------- [to donovan, i miss you bro.] so you jumped the treadmill, in search of superstardom .. in search of some fame in search of hollywood in search of a name. you were--just some shameless carpetdoll depressive, who dreamt to be some sucker posterchild. just somebody, anybody and you were .. you were. to me, you were--just some basement dreamer some poetic restriction some switchblade artist some mirrored neglection, and i cared and i loved you, as you were as you are .. just somebody anybody .. as my friend too preoccupied, dreaming. happily depressed, listening to grunge lullabies in between tired headphones. you were too busy .. breathing, breathing suffocating inside plasticbag masquerades, like some twisted harry houdini some selfafflicted voodoo doll screaming in duct tape, with papercut tatoos .. souvenir scabs and scar mosaics of an alien past you've always wanted, but you never knew you never knew .. you lived frowning, you died smiling with your eyes open, without a name .. just somebody, anybody .. and you were, you were. to me, you were--just some scatterpuzzle nonconformist some kurt cobain junkie some elasticband antagonist some beautiful mistake, just some reminder, of the comfort that comes with pain. you couldn't see, that i cared and i loved you, as you were as you are .. just somebody, anybody .. as my friend ------------------------------------------- "and i dont want the world to see me because i don't think that theyd understand, when everythings meant to be broken i just want you to know who i am" [goo goo dolls] ------------------------------------------- [This message has been edited by christian (01-10-2003 04:38 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 christian ragunton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
I liked this reminded me of Temple of The Dog's Say Hello To Heaven raf |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
you have the emotional outpouring in here that screams "lived this" and the hint of anger saying it isn't fair... it doesn't sit well...inside you... strong stuff... and the heartbreak of it all well played whether in acoustic or blues... |
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neveah5 Member
since 2002-11-22
Posts 197Ohio |
Christian...this is so sad but you wrote it so well. I was once in a very dark place and didnt want out. I was content living with depression. im sorry for your loss  |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Chris, ..."as my friend"... So heart touching. He/she knew. I never know if someone is writing a current personal experience...if so, I am sorry....your description and title, so vivid....I enjoyed it greatly. FYI, you remind me of my son, though I've not a clue as to your age...and no matter....really, not sure why I mentioned it...just in passing.... Hugs and warm regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
you lived frowning, you died smiling with your eyes open, without a name ********************** cristian, for you from me: but someone cared, someone shared, so it wasn't all in vain, despite the pain |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
christian My condolence. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
christian - you said it well, everything is there, nice... BC |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
pat, i'm eighteen. it makes me chuckle to know that i remind me of your son. i guess i'm just the typical 18 year old running around in pickup trucks and looking for trouble? naaaaaah, :smirk: thanks for the comments y'all, i apprec- iated them. -chris. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Chris, I liked the way you wrote this. It was a very emotional poem......Yes, very "heartfelt"  BTW, Chris, is the reply right above me really the way you talk....the "ya'll" ? The reason I ask, is I say "ya'll" all the time. You may have noticed it in my replies to other people...... And, I drive a pick-up truck, too......a Ford Ranger, but I really like Chevy's.... "Love makes the world go around" |
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defenestrate Junior Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 46nc, us |
excellent descriptor/metaphor sequences-i particularly like this one: some basement dreamer some poetic restriction some switchblade artist some mirrored neglection, kind post-beat. kudos! |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
i'm from texas. it's second nature for me to say 'y'all'. you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. i dig chicks with pickup trucks, it's sassy. [that wasn't really intended as some kinda pickup line, just the truth, :smirk:] -chris. |
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Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
Christian, Iwas deeply moved by this piece. Too many of us are depressed when the fame that we seek eludes us, or doesn't satisfy once we have achieved it. Unfortunately, too few ever recognized we are loved as we are by the people that should matter most in our lives. A touching tribute indeed to someone you called "friend" ~~~ the greatest of honours is to be one and have one. Love, Light and Peace, Sherry (this one is being added to my library) Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
A harsh reality for far to many. An excellent write. Peace to you and yours. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Christian...Very emotional write. Pain and loneliness cries out from your words...Paul I wrote one last night titled "Fallen Stars" which is somewhat related to yours, it's about musicians and other stars of the stage. "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssssss) Oh Christian, I admire reading your acoustics, dearest friend, I can hear parts of the lyrics as melodies in my head, this somehow reminded me of Third Eye Blind's "Jumper", encouraging someone not to go so hard on himself and put the past away as we can only incarcerate ourselves staring lower! (sad sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chrstian, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this reminds me of my brother, the one who killed himself. I can't say I'm sorry I read it, but I kinda wish I'd have gone past it. Very painful reading. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Hi Chris, your writing reveals a maturity beyond your years...i'm humbled and awed and envious, all at the same time just some reminder, of the comfort that comes with pain. these lines caught me...don't exactly know why but i guess it's because you hint of solace in a subtle way? |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
just..Wow!!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
this piece completely blew me away....i guess i can say that in my life i hope i have one person who remembers me like you remember and treasure your friend...... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You have the makings... a good read. Thank you. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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