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Open Poetry #24

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rainman
Junior Member

since 2002-12-14

Posts 21

0 posted 2003-01-05 01:26 PM

The Man Lying Unconscious

Lying on the ground
with no respond
the unconscious man
now in a cloud
of dust but peace

Inside changing worlds
In front of changing routes
couldn't find any way
to the end

not right for a big trend,
the unconscious man
with a gun in his hand...

© Copyright 2003 rainman - All Rights Reserved

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

1 posted 2003-01-05 05:08 PM

oh.. my...

sure made me read a few times, cringe, sit trying not to think, then read again.

... Wll written.
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-01-06 04:35 AM

very sad

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

3 posted 2003-01-06 06:53 AM

mucho triste, es verdad?

Midnitesun

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2003-01-06 10:53 AM

A sad but good write.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2003-01-07 09:28 AM

A hard-hitting write, rainman. Thank you!

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