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PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

0 posted 2003-01-06 09:36 PM

We fell into the midst of an enduring night
Now our hearts begin to take flight
Our love starts to burn into an ember
We must make this night something to remember

So give me your hand
and let us be lost among the sand
on this midnight promenade
as the moon begins to fade

As you kiss me farewell
My words come out of their shell
"We mustn't let these embers turn to cinder
It's time to let our hearts surrender."

So give me your hand
and again we're lost among the sand
on this midnight promenade
as the moon begins to fade

As the dragonflies light your face
I realize to give you up would be a disgrace
Every moment seems captured in the waves
Our love is something the ocean craves

-----------------------------------------
I'm finally content with this poem's outcome, so tell me what you think! Thanx bunches!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

FLOWERGIRL
Junior Member

since 2003-01-04

Posts 40
the woods of Pa

1 posted 2003-01-06 11:39 PM

As I read your poem my mind was swaying as if I were there where sand and wave meet in loves midnight prominade. I could almost hear as if I were there./ thatnk you for a breif vacation. Show us what else you have hiding inside your creative sea.

Dragon Mistress
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 289
Washington, USA.

2 posted 2003-01-06 11:43 PM

sweet. And I must agree with flowergirl, I was swept away to a sea of love and romance. Good work my friend.
-Tanya
Dragon Mistress

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

3 posted 2003-01-07 12:14 PM

Thank you both! This poem was kind of just for fun and I was able to just let my imagination flow! It makes me feel good to know some people actually enjoy my poetry!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2003-01-07 03:45 AM

Enjoyed...James

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2003-01-08 12:10 PM

PoeTik JusTice~
Some lovely and romantic thoughts in this piece.
I especially enjoyed...

"on this midnight promenade
as the moon begins to fade"

Beautiful lines.
Nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2003-01-08 04:20 AM

I think it's just beautiful...sorry for lack of in-depth critique, I'm not good at those...but I like this write! Turned out great!

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