»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #24
»
Entropy
| Open Poetry #24 |
|
Entropy |
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Red Cedar grow in rocky soil With roots that twist between cracks As they anchor life to the precarious 238 steps up the side of Holman’s bluff the limestone pauses for a few feet in its effort to stretch from the river bed to the off white clouds so often seen on fall and summer days above. A few Reds grow here With limb tips reaching for the ground As if in fear of toppling off this perch. Once, under these trees We spread a blanket on prickly needles And stripped ourselves bare of the day Speaking quietly of nights to come Promises Dreams Such trees survive, but our words, did not. |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Some seed just does not take well to limestone... no matter how good the view. Well done, Sir. |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron--I find it amazing to think of the strength of some things, in comparison to the fragile nature of others. It is an interesting dychotomy, and makes good poetic material...as is the case with this poem.  , my friend. |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"Speaking quietly of nights to come Promises Dreams Such trees survive, but our words, did not." ------------------------------------------- Oh my Ron...you always come up with these endings after I get all comfortable in a warm read. Fantastic write as always m'friend. ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
||
garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Very beautifully written, as always, Capt. Ron. Thank you...  "Love makes the world go around" |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Perhaps another variety of seedling will take root and thrive... It sounds like a truly beautiful place to grow...  |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Can we accept that the roots didn't grow deeply enough or firmly enough and move on? That's the hard part. Enjoyed this very much sir. |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat Hair You brought a shadow into the light and it disappeared. Well done. |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
just a beautiful write, I enjoyed reading. |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
wonderful work...nature survives untold ravages and it survives, but words are fragile as a leaf, and need caring and protection to survive |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Cpat this is brilliant. The ending a lesson we all learn. Vivid imagery, such a heartfelt poem. Thanks for sharing. |
||
|
Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Entropy? hmmmmmm From the title, my expectation of randomness and disorder was not well met. Sorry. I like the poem though, and know that place. |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thanks to you all... nice of you to drop in and read..and leave your thoughts. K... Entropy:physics measure of unavailable energy: a measure of the energy in a system or process that is unavailable to do work in this context does the title make any more sense? |
||
|
Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Ok, in the sense that the words have now become random, unordered bits of energy. I guess I wasn't focusing tightly enough on the last lines. Sorry if I stepped on it. e |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I love the way you write....your first verse drew me in and somehow I knew I would sigh in the end. Nice one Cpat~ |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
We spread a blanket on prickly needles And stripped ourselves bare of the day Speaking quietly of nights to come ************************************** That's a very nice image.  |
||
|
Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
Oh those memory places that stay so strong in our hearts and mind. Sometimes a little painful to recall, but makes for good poetry. ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, I looked up ~entrophy~ in the dictionary myself and tried to relate. (as I do other of your titles) Glad for the explanation. Overall, lovely imagery, though ending quite sad. I also agree with Martie. Warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Cpat Hair - nice blending from the trees to the blanket and then to words that did not stay... BC |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
You are the king of the poignant ending, dear Captain. Cor |
||
|
Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
hmmmm..once had a garden filled with the weeds of promises and dreams, even Miracle Gro didn't work, hehe...and nature always takes its own course---enjoyed!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I like where you're going Ron. You are finding your new voice. Ed |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
It felt like I was dissolving into the landscape as your words dissolved into the sky. |
||
|
EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
some words can survive much longer than you think. |
||
|
The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
[[Once, under these trees We spread a blanket on prickly needles And stripped ourselves bare of the day Speaking quietly of nights to come Promises Dreams Such trees survive, but our words, did not.]] Very nice write .... I can so much identify. ... There is no normal life Wyatt, just life ... so live! |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Ron, a superbly thought out piece. Metaphoric perfection. (Is that a word?) I like this poem and the comparisons, the outcome..so true.. |
||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
precious memories...too sad an ending, too sad well done! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Lovely words, Ron. Cor |
||
|
scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Great write, Ron.. believe in what your heart feels... |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I love this one. I ended a poem I wrote several years back with almost the exact thought The Inscription I carved your name, in a heart, with the words "I love you" in the rough bark of a tree. The days passed, spring turned to summer, summer to fall, fall to winter, winter to spring, one year to another, and yet the letters remained. The trees bark wrapped them lovingly; dark moss blanketed the groves; the sun faded the letters; but still, they endured. Oh, how that inscription weathered the storms... I wish I could say the same for our love. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
