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Open Poetry #23
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Where Falcons Cry (moved from 22)
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Where Falcons Cry (moved from 22) |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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Ten thousand died horrific death as hundreds more the injured cried. As each new soul let their last breath upon the berm where falcons hide. As dawn of day does come to pass from fall of stone and crystal’s gleam. In bondage fate, but then alas wilt not thee quell the fearful scream? This cell of rock, most putrid smell of rats and mice, of spider’s crawl. Where man is left in ponders dwell since fall of stone our mighty wall. My bed, this mass of festered cloth where stains of life remain to see. Our food but once a bowl of broth to keep the breath yet rasping free. In dark of night these vermin feed upon the crumbs of crawling legs. Dare not thy flesh to crimson bleed for comes to thee most fearful dregs. A restless dream returns in tear as faces haunt and torment cries. Now dead and ash the oaken bier where embers glowing then now dies. My king was torn upon the rack to pieces four the corners cast. Each piece a part now mem’ries black within the mind’s cave deep and vast. I wilt not words of him betray as have those screaming souls now free. For to my grave I wilt obey till whence thy gate doth creak for me. [This message has been edited by Magnus (10-12-2002 01:39 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
This is so deep, it touches my soul. Quite a bit to ponder. I am left, kind of, almost stunned by it. Wow! It is great. Warmly, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Thanx Pat, you will find over time...that this is not uncommon of some of my poetry. Pleased to see you here...Now I should go and see what treasures you have given us. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed this |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Hi, Magnus...Just wanted to say you have done a superb job of bringing your meaning across in this poem. I agree...this poem is deep, dark, and wonderful all at the same time. Glad to be reading your work again. ***Ivy Rose |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ok. This is not so much a critique as some questions, as I was pulled from shore to shore... At first, with "Eagles" in the title, my mind went to Indians. The first stanza kept that firmly in my mind. Second and fourth stanza did, as well. The remaining stanzas pulled me back and forth to Old England times...knights and soldiers, as you are so apt at portraying. Somehow, and while they may have some, I've never heard of eagles residing in England. So...there's my two cents on an otherwise wonderful read...I enjoyed the cadence, the rhyme...and as always, the mystery. Thank you. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Sunny One....want you to know that: A. I have a smile on my face...still... B. Headed toward the encyclopedia... C. I do so hate it when YOU are right, as usual. D. Thanx bunches for the response, and maybe an Osprey? Who knows... This is supposed to be (other than the cotton picking birds) of Olde English, which...as you said...I am so apt to write.. hope you enjoyed the ride across the ocean and back...How was the turbulence? Light, I would hope..... Thanx KJ...good thoughts...will apply accordingly....Eagles are just symbolic of freedom...Lets see....hmmmmm...got me thinking.... GOT IT!...change made.... [This message has been edited by Magnus (10-12-2002 12:54 PM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
One word...makes all the difference. I am glad you put your comments in, Magnus, and not just change the title, because if you hadn't, I would have had  on my face, and I'm not even hungry! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
You are welcome SunnySideUp..... And I think the change worked out well... Will keep that thought in mind when posting other works...Good point, glad you felt comfortable that you can tell me what you think....THAT is greatly appreciated..as always... |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Ok...you got me... I couldn't resist a break from my dregs of paper hell, to see again the impressions of the artist put to pen. Well done Poe-et! Great seasonal write. ThisDiamond |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Thanx TD....and Sun of Shine has been helping me fix my errors of birds...then... while I was sitting in a nice hot tub of water....I got to thinking... where falcons flied???? WAIT!!!!! flew not flied.... So, I changed it to hide, which fits and is good grammar...(pun intended) Fight the paper wars Charlotte...fight on.. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Wow!!! Oh my gosh, you speak of these dark and medieval ages so well in here, sweet friend, I too found it fascinating where the falcons came in, this is marvelous, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
well done and much enjoyed, Barry..hugs, CherPoetry is: |
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