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Open Poetry #23

Story of whispers

storyteller.of.poets
Junior Member

since 2002-10-16

Posts 11

0 posted 2002-10-17 08:35 PM

The future whispers to me and i yearn
to go to search for my destiny to have
adventures to have stories be made
for a lifetime.
The past calls to me and tells me not
to forget and to remember who i am, to
not give in to the torment that youth
gives.
The present combines these two and offers
them combined to me like a star being born
i shield my eyes, then to see who i am
shine like the star that i could be and i
stretch my hand toward it...

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2002-10-17 08:40 PM

I like this very much. The future whispers..love that idea.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2002-10-18 09:56 AM

Yes, "stretch (your) hand toward" that star,
and if you don't reach it, be proud of who you are!---and of this poem! hehe

Welcome sister poet! You're off to a great start!

Earth Angel

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-18 02:11 PM

What I like most about this poem is that it discusses the present not necessarily as a point in time, but as an action... you personified the past and future in order to give them some kind of voice... that they conspire to create you... I like that idea.

I'm not sure if I agree with it, though... I see the past as more of a determining factor in who you are, but the future as what will later be the present, the present to later be the past...

Then again, I don't really see how the future exists until it becomes present... hmm...

Hah, sorry to ramble... suffice it to say I enjoyed your poem and it made me think.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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