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Open Poetry #23
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ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2002-12-14 03:08 AM



At a lack to perform certain tasks
regarded as alien by elite behind masks
given homes designed for flawless people
I pulled the bell from the tallest steeple

that sounded below with a cling and a clang
I left a lady for a single instrument band
and hid night away from the public gendarme
they meant to sack me..exact physical harm.

'cause I had a hump and a limp
considered a fool and an imp...
I was the object of public harassment
younger descendents face civil embarrasment;
'cause my modern cousins ride in wheelchairs
they are the object of building restraints
and global stares.

the modern disabled are limited by lack of decent access
then an imp could reach a steeple with bells in a recess
later homes were made without modern codes
a bell top steeple was my abode..
the faithful below were shocked..
didn't matter how I was mocked


A bell top steeple high above thoughtless crowds
that carried the book and protected the shroud
that mocked my face for its frozen grin
deformed descendents know how it has been....



[This message has been edited by ecrivan (12-14-2002 12:48 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2002-12-14 03:12 AM


wow, this reminds me of something we studied in Lit class in college...way over my head, or maybe I'm just sleepy...I dunno... sorry.
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
2 posted 2002-12-14 12:52 PM


what did you study in the Lit class?... the second to last stanza is a little clearer now.


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2002-12-15 04:57 AM


I'm sorry Martin, I didn't mean to imply that you should edit. It's only that I have a associate's degree and have been out of college for way too long...I have trouble understand more educated writers now. It just appeared as a write that one would have to decipher line by line to be able to understand the entire meaning as a whole....like Robert Frost or e.e. cummings or Emily Dickenson, among others.

I myself am more of a simple, emotional poet. If I have to put too much thought into figuring out what is being said and spending much time in the depths to figure out what is meant, then I'm turned off.

Please don't take this that you should change the way you write or edit your writings. Others might be up on that level...and you should be proud that you can write like that. I feel bad seeing you here and not being able to say something, anything...

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
4 posted 2002-12-16 12:06 PM


Hi Dixie,

No problem I could see there was an incoherency on my part...as you can see I'm no longer comfortable with simple rhyme schemes and have pick up a freer more complex
style..there is just an analogy made here between the hunchback of Notre-Dame and how today's deformed people are treated. I don't like to spell out all those details though..prefering that the reader sift through and make his own connections. My best to you during the holiday season


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2002-12-16 02:38 AM


yes Martin, it surely is a disgrace, the treatment of people by other people...

wishing you a happy holiday season also

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