Open Poetry #23 |
You Don't Know |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I stumble on you Losing balanced thought To fall face first into Muddy memories That do not break my fall gently, But fill my nose and eyes With grit worn from stony faces. There were Or were thereā¦ Days and nights I soared Lithely stepping from one heaven To dissolve in mists of you in another Knowing what two felt like as one And in arrogance of delight Thought no end could be Now I breathe And try to remember the tactile impressions, The scents of love then, But my face is covered In this eroded time And the sands of My stumble |
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© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
wow......when you remember, when you write, the world stands at attention, you are a gifted writer my friend |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You keep doing this, and I'm going to need more bytes. |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
I stumble on you Losing balanced thought To fall face first into Muddy memories But my face is covered In this eroded time And the sands of My stumble ------- You have captured and protrayed this well Very impressed here ~Salty |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, I like this a great deal. Many, many lines.... "I stumble on you, ~losing balanced thought~", oh, yes. and..... "with grit worn from stony faces" and my favorite, which I relate to most: "arrogance of delight" (good one) I've been in that frame of mind more than once, ooh, letting that invisible guard down.... Sad write, but right. Enjoyed. Warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I do believe this is the first time I have seen you soar... then you pulled the rug away. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
JB.. you are far too kind. thank you Midnight... that is what the trash bin is for (chuckling) to have a place to get rid of stuff like this...it doesn't use much space and can be emptied regularly.. thanks for dropping in and for commenting. Salty.. I take it you have been there.. thanks for the nice words..they are appreciated Pat.. you are a treasure... always saying nice things.. thanks Sunshine.. ( smiling) it's just life you know... that's the way it seems to work. thanks to you all... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Days and nights I soared Lithely stepping from one heaven To dissolve in mists of you in another Knowing what two felt like as one And in arrogance of delight Thought no end could be Now I breathe And try to remember the tactile impressions, The scents of love then, ================================= feelings like this...do leave one hell of an impression...leaves memories too...or are those called scars? .... yeah... I know. (also makes for some impressive poetry) It's so nice to wake up in the morning all alone and not have to tell somebody you love them when you don't love them any more R.Brautigan [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (12-13-2002 07:35 PM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) This is such a touching write, sweet friend, I hope all is well as I think we can all feel misunderstood and lost! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Nevertheless, within the gravel of Wisdom's path lie smooth worry-stone memories worth pocketing... -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Ron! You've been busy. And I see a new Cpat emerging, methinks. Ed I'll be back for the rest. That finger thing, yanno? |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
But my face is covered In this eroded time And the sands of My stumble ..hard to breathe when buried in the sand--like the honest of this--well done! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Man, you make my heart bleed. That's good writing, friend. Balance is indeed difficult to do, especially for poets, I fear. Cor [This message has been edited by Corinne (12-14-2002 11:39 AM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt. Ron, you know just how to write it, don't you? Thanks for sharing, friend.... "Love makes the world go around" |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I echo the above replies--and that is saying a great deal! You really are one of the very best, yanno! ~ humble hugs EA |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Excellently penned, sharp vision, though your pain is from the muddied views. Sad but highly perceptive and powerfully done! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You don't know how good this one is. So I came back again, to give you a booster shot. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
And in arrogance of delight Thought no end could be A mistake we've all made too many times Brilliant piece raph |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
But my face is covered In this eroded time And the sands of My stumble Oh I like this part, all of it of course, but especially this line..... very good, *S* |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Muddy, stony words. Loved them. |
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