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Like A Rat In A Maze
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Like A Rat In A Maze |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
A mirrored-walled maze, Had no grime, nor haze. He was trying to find her, With a distorted gaze. He sped ahead, there she was froze. Love at first sight,He broke his nose. A lesson learned, first thyself know. ~Keen-sensed~ he soon found his essence of Rose. . . . ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (12-13-2002 10:33 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
interesting read and form... I enjoyed |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Pat, I like the way you're using different forms of writing.  This one is really cute. I enjoyed reading it.  "Love makes the world go around" |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, Most likely one I should have worked on or pitched. A middle of the night, no sleep one coupled with my bizarre sense of humor. We go out looking for the right person, thinking they'll be like us, somehow, before knowing who we are. (self-knowledge.........) Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Pat, hmmmm....not sure I really understand this, but it's most interesting to say the least. Hugs to you, Marti |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
oh, I really like this, and yes you are right, you are effectively layering and adding depth to your poetry, this is extremly interesting |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I saw this scene. I remember bumping into myself in a maze. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
regards2you Better a broken nose then a broken heart, enjoyed. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ethel, Thanks for reading, yes, the running into a mirror catches my slap stick sense of humor. Once, I was making a bank deposit at building which had been renovated on outside, with all mirrors. That was in my size 5 days, along with the heals, and business suit, blah, blah,......playing that part of work in an office all day game, and darn if I didn't walk right smack into that building and bounced off. I was so mad/embarrassed I could have died. Gracious people that day, for no one honked the horn....ugh! Glad you could see the funny side. And, no I didn't break my nose! Marti, Thanks for replying, how nice of you; it is difficult to understand and needs reworked for more clarity, perhaps. Plus, I have a hard time with literally typing and placing the words where I want them;presentation does make a difference when trying to 'see' the meaning. Thank you JB, thanks for comments...I appreciate your opinions, they mean much. Re: layering, I didn't realize in one of my recent poems how layered it was until someone said it was emotional; it was intended to be written about the mind, but, Freud (sp?) would have had a field day with it...Thank you. Kacy, thanks for your reply, glad you saw him smashing into self. Seymour, Isn't that the truth. Thanks ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Pat, it's probably just my instinct to look beyond, behind, and beneath the obvious but I sensed (perhaps a subconscious?) allusion here in light of "recent events"... Made me reflect, in any case, and reflections can be interesting... -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Mark, Thanks so much for stopping by to read and reply. I found what you said interesting; I love the field of psychiatry, at least those parts I've been able to understand and use to help myself, PAC, for one (Berne)- Transactional Analysis, etc. etc. And get a general understanding of others behavior, Now you have me reflecting; I've been rummy with lack of sleep for last three days, and my mind does work differently with no sleep. I know this, there are no recent romantic events to have triggered it. There was a relationship long, long ago in which he and I were very alike, in a lot of ways. Many poems in last two months have brought up some strong emotionals relating back to that time period... Isn't the mind a fabulous ~wonder~? If I could do it over again, or had had choices, I'd have been a shrink! I am still rummy....a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, though. Thanks for your input. I'd like to find a book specifically discussing the layering factor when writing poetry.... Again, thanks for your time. Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
pretty cool... |
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