If - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Walter Poe
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 787

0 posted 2002-12-13 05:55 AM

As i watched
the mud cleared
and it was before me
the other world
the "If" world
If you hadn't gone
I saw our wedding
you looked wonderful
i watched crying
because i knew
it wasnt to be
I saw a future
mapped out before me
not perfect
i wouldn't expect it to be
I saw pain and i saw tears
but i also saw love
and an end to fears
I saw you old
Yet i look at you
with the same unbounded love
I saw the future that could have been
so i placed my foot into the puddle
and carried on regardless.

Take a good look at my face
Well, don't my smile look out of place
look a little closer its easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-12-13 08:03 AM

aching write Paul, the metaphor of the mud and rain/puddle worked well to impact and express your emotions. Free verse looks as good on your pen as your rhymes.
mothy hugs to you poet sir,
jm

It's so nice
to wake up in the morning
all alone
and not have to tell somebody
you love them
when you don't love them
any more

R.Brautigan

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

2 posted 2002-12-13 09:49 AM

I saw the future that could have been
so i placed my foot into the puddle
and carried on regardless.

For some reason, this struck me as very sad. An excellent piece that tugs at the heart..

Midnitesun