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Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2002-12-15 02:27 PM



Please humour me in my introduction to this poem:

When I was a little girl, my Grandma had this plain glass jar sitting beside Royal Doulton figurines on her oak book shelves in her apartment living room.  In this jar were years of american dollars and coins saved up, and one day when I was about 5 years old I said to my Grandma that the jar is so plain for such a big dream and she gave me permission to decorate it.  

I remember that I used small square shaped pieces of pastel paper that she got on sale at 'Shoppers Drug Mart' and of course I drew pictures of what I thought she would look like in Paris and I even added dollar signs and happy faces on the paper. She and I both chose one pale green piece of paper and wrote "To Paris or Bust" on it. The jar was complete and sat on the shelf for many years and although she was elderly and sickly, I truly believed, like most children do, that she would see Paris someday and that I would do everything possible to help her see it.

She always longed to visit Paris, France and she felt that in a past life she was born there.  But, she was very ill for most of my life and could barely walk even with the help of a cane and in later life, a walker and a wheelchair.  She died on June 15, 1996 when I was 16 1/2 years old from stomach cancer, severe diabetes and with one leg amputated from past the knee cap down.  She never got to fulfil her lifelong wish and I punish myself often for not being able to do something about it.  Then again, I was only young at the time.

For my Grandma, Phyllis Long - I miss you most at Christmas time...


“Paris or Bust”

I know now that it was the waiting
that killed you.

And my patience is wearing thin
for all the coins screaming in the glass jar
and for the pastel pieces of paper pasted on the sides in haste
by crayon coated fingers just to see Grandma smile at the thought.
I promised you then that you could borrow my legs
and walk on dreams again,
that your cane would turn to candy
and together we’d lick the splintered edges clean of tears.

Though, sometimes, sitting still, even glass can break on a shelf,
untouched in mourning from what can never be.

Answers and reasons fail to make amends
for your painful pain that I suffered along side with you
and the memory of the faint glimmer of hope in your picture show eyes
still reels black and white mixed with magenta through my own
where the Eiffel Tower stood strong, steel arms open wide
for your return to innocence.

Silence is the haunting of
the emptiness of what once was -
disappointment in my heart’s grave
and I was forced to bury you there, too soon, just too damn soon.

And when your ghost comes in the night,
please hide yourself here, within me,
find solace in my spirit
and forgiveness in yours
for the diamond stars
you never saw in Paris.

By Melissa P. Long-Monette

[This message has been edited by Honeybee (12-15-2002 02:28 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2002-12-15 02:47 PM



Dear Honeybee, I truly believe that if she were meant to see Paris, she would have seen Paris. You must have delighted her with your sharing of her dream for her. You were so young to have actually made her dream into a reality, but you gave her an abundance of love and that must have filled her heart and soul more than any trip could have. Besides, now she can fly to Paris on angel wings whenever she pleases. She no longer has any physical limitations. Bless you!...and her!

~ warm hugs
Earth Angel

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-12-15 02:56 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Melissa, my heart goes out to you, sweet friend, but I too believe with all my heart that now she can visit Paris any day she wants to because now she is free and at the same time she has never forgotten you, for you always had faith her dream can come true and she will always love you so much and guide you with her light! (wipes tears) God Bless You, sweet friend, I send many angel hugs of comfort out to you, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Melissa, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2002-12-15 02:56 PM


Melissa, this is so sweet. I could tell from your explanation and your poen that you and your Grandmother were very close. I'm sure that you have many good memories that are keeping her close in your heart even now.
I know, Sweetie, that around the holidays is when we miss those gone on the most, it seems. Oh, what would we do without good memories to keep them close to us.
I am finding, though, Melissa, that writing about this pain of losing a dear one does help. And, the sweet, compassionate responses of our wonderful "Family of Friends" here at PIP helps, too.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us.  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (12-15-2002 02:58 PM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-12-15 02:58 PM



Melybee, you did not give me a hanky alert...and I do believe this is probably one of the best poems you have ever written.  So now I see why the lady in my picture is walking with a smile...

she lives in your words...in Paris!




Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
5 posted 2002-12-15 05:29 PM


Melissa, I also believe this is one of your best.  It brought tears to me while reading it.  You're such an excellent writer!  My thoughts and prayers for you and your dear grandma, my friend.  

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2002-12-15 07:05 PM


Melissa,
You never fail to impress me, enjoyed.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2002-12-16 03:12 AM


a beautifully sad write and i love those!
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