Can You Have Me?, Just Touch My Mind!

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regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

0 posted 2002-12-12 06:34 AM

Your phrases,
raw or steamed,
consumes the cliched
components of my core,

Munching,
Quenching,
Chewing me,

~with your~

Heart touching,
Soul searching,
Gut wrenching.

And, I stand by.

Admiring your ability
to bump a bruise
on my existence.

Yet, I'll walk away,
my own person,
for better or for worse,
richer or poorer.
Ever, a thank you
for that.

Married to self,
I am singly pleased
allowing divorce
~we~ are no longer ~us~.

But, when you penetrate
my aliveness,
where skull and scalp
cover consciousness
of ~the god of me~,
not the God I answer to,
but, the Goddess of my Essence.

When your thoughts
smear your soothing salve
on my ~Mind~, touching that most
precious part of ~I Am~
then, I am, eternally yours.
Can you have me?

~Just Touch My Mind!~

.
.
.

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (12-12-2002 07:44 AM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-12-12 06:52 AM

Pat, what emotion I felt in this poem. But, I'm a little hesitant to comment very much, because you are such a talented writer that you can make the reader think it's real when it may not be.....
Whether or not, it's a very powerful and touching poem.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2002-12-12 06:53 AM

quote:
Admiring your ability
to bump a bruise
on my existence.

A

line!

nicolecruz
Junior Member

since 2002-12-11

Posts 16

3 posted 2002-12-12 07:00 AM

And, I stand by.

Admiring your ability
to bump a bruise
on my existence.
-----------------------------

truly lovely. i particularly enjoyed the above posted section. i've rarely, if ever, heard admiring love's destructive capacities so well articulated. and overall the piece flows quite nicely.

i especially dug the ending note. 'just touch me!' indeed.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

4 posted 2002-12-12 07:57 AM

Ethel,

Thanks for reading and replying. This poem reflects exactly ~me~. The importance is in the last stanza....
for tens of thousands, probably, can "bump a bruise", with the commonness of the both of us, but few can touch my mind. (where I live) There is a major difference.

Karilea and Nicolecruz, Thanks. FYI,
I changed the last line a tad. Basically the same, tho.

thanks for reading and replying

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

5 posted 2002-12-12 08:00 AM

a keeper indeed--this is a WOW!!--enjoyed

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-12-12 08:09 AM

nicele done... I am enjoying the changes in your writing...the way you phrase, the way you pace the read...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2002-12-12 08:09 AM

Oh, my gawd, Pat! This is stupendously awesome!.....Another "Must Save" from the wise and living quill of a talented sagacious poetess!
Brilliant!---and extremely moving! You display the courage and strength of your convictions!

~ extra big hugs this morning!

Linda

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2002-12-12 05:06 PM

Pat

Wonderful strength in this...loved the last lines!

Salty
Senior Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 669
Texas

9 posted 2002-12-12 05:17 PM

I applaud your strength and self worth,
and I applaud the way you just penned it.

A wonderful write!!!!!!

~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

10 posted 2002-12-12 05:21 PM

Pat, Phew! How well you do write. I hope all here read this. It is exceptionally written.

Hugs, Marti

'A witty saying proves nothing.'
Voltaire (1694-1778)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2002-12-14 04:37 AM

damn, you inspire me!

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