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regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

0 posted 2002-12-10 11:15 PM

Locked up like a leper, tongue and groove door.
Not alone, but with Kitten, her sister, adored.
Learned to count slats, before she could talk.
Died a thousand deaths, before she could walk.
Prison of pain, heartache of saints.
Held her head high, gentle and quaint.
Her days were filled with cold, wet stockings.
Her mind a chill, numb, mute chalkings.
Her partner in crime, a replica, true.
She cared for this haunting, like sisters do.
Wipe away her tears, play with spiders.
Wondered if the rats would come sit beside her.
Their red eyes looked like the berries she ate,
down by the water, near the rusted gate.
Now grown, there she goes, wayward girl, shuffling.
Uncouth and plain, a ragamuffin, bluffing.
She's not like a copy of you or of me.
For destiny gave her a different free.
Her mind, sadly in part, sealed by the stress.
Yet her soul is wrapped in a jeweled garnet dress.
Her childhood kissed sophistication good-bye,
while the singe of her daily gave her power from on high.
And, her answer to all, there is
nothing you can't go through,
For, if I can, so can you.

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-12-10 11:18 PM

a different kind of free... indeed

nicely done..

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

2 posted 2002-12-10 11:39 PM

Ron,

Thanks for replying.

Warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (12-10-2002 11:46 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

3 posted 2002-12-11 12:56 PM

I really like this. Vivid words and images thank you for sharing
raph

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2002-12-11 01:17 AM

I had a strange eerie feeling while reading this, that somehow, I know this free soul. Well done, Pat.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-12-11 01:25 AM

Very well-written, full of truths, Pat. I enjoyed this very much.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

6 posted 2002-12-11 01:36 AM

Pat,
How come it makes me think of "Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte"? I don't know but this sure painted fascinating pictures in my head. Thanks.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

7 posted 2002-12-11 04:24 AM

Wow I really feel like I know this girl, though;
"She's not like a copy of you or of me.
For destiny gave her a different free"

wonderful imagery, I could see the views and I could taste the "berries she ate"

keep it up

Always, GG

- And so it was that time stood still -

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2002-12-11 04:29 AM

Beautiful flow of words...James

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2002-12-11 06:34 AM

I think we can all identify with this girl. In some ways I would think that living life like that could make you see the world through different eyes. Very well done.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

10 posted 2002-12-11 07:19 AM

Aenimal,

I'm glad you liked, and that the words and images were vivid to you. Thanks.

Kacy,

I love your mind; grinning here. Thanks.
Ethel,

Actually, I'm getting to be my best critic, for the craftmanship is not good. Actually, it is quite sloppy, but am concentrating more on writing content, descriptively, right now.
Thank you for reading and finding truth.

Larry C.

Thanks for stopping by and reading.
Glad you found facinating pics, for that is what I was trying to do

James,

Thank for the beautiful. Hugs.

Gentle Spirit,

I think you are very right. Thanks for the very well done.

Thanks to all of you for commenting, it means a lot to me. Hugs & regards.

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

11 posted 2002-12-11 01:45 PM

(big hugggsssssssss) Oh Patricia, your wonderful words see through the eyes of so many, sweet friend, I think it is ironic how there is a dictionary definition for "freedom" when we all have our own ways of freedom and living like that may not be perfect but at least you know nothing is going to invade! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Patricia, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

12 posted 2002-12-11 05:42 PM

WOW!! Excellent write!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

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