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Open Poetry #23
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2002-12-09 10:24 PM


No resistance to
lips bated by passions
saccharine taste

Our bodies entwined,
ribbons of flesh and bone,
in ardent dance

Within the warmth of
pierced flesh we lose ourselves
melting into one

In whispers and sighs
faithful professions of
love eternal

Words without weight
that spill from lips
maintaining the illusion
that this is love
and not lust

(A laboured effort those last two verses, in the end I just wanted to be done with it. Hope you like it though)

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (12-09-2002 10:41 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
1 posted 2002-12-09 10:27 PM


lust/love? whats the difference, enjoy it all.........good hot poem
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2002-12-09 10:44 PM


inkedgoddess who said I didn't? lol
Hey, thanks again for the support a lot of my edgier stuff is tanking and though I don't post for approval it's still nice to read a thought or two from people not swayed by touchy subject matter.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-12-09 10:46 PM


Aenimal.

There is a big different when hearts are involved.

The last two lines seemed okay. That was the message and could almost be a regular love poem (if you happen to be a sweet and low user, smiling) but, really could have been except for the third to last line, it changed to what your intention was, according to title

I liked this. A very real part of life.

Warm regards,  Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2002-12-09 11:47 PM


SO many people screw up their lives because of your last stanza. If some people recognized good, healthy lust instead of feeling they have to define it as love to justify it their lives would have been much different.

Nicely, er, laid out....

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
5 posted 2002-12-10 05:20 PM


Perhaps, lust is the first foundation of Love...?

-MVS

"AS ABOVE SO BELOW"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-12-10 05:54 PM


or Mark, perhaps it is the emotional rationalization for lust....

the write seems honest...and the conclusions left to the reader, I enjoyed this..


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2002-12-10 06:04 PM


Aenimal
It's all a part of the same ball of wax,
enjoyed.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2002-12-10 09:18 PM


Thank you Pat I love leading it one way and then ending poems with a strong or abrupt conclusion

Balladeer we screw our lives up anytime we try to define it. Seldom learning to just let it be. P.S Love the pun which i'm sure was intended lol

Mark I've found it's either a foundation or a wrecking ball

Cpat a very good point, we try to rationalize everything instead of, as Balladeer pointed out, just enjoying it for what it is without having to define or justify

Seymour sometimes but not always, and thats why we make the mistakes.

Glad you all enjoyed it

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