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Harsh Reminders
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Harsh Reminders |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
OUT damned spot Remove the stain Of your existence From my soul Our love, Neither fed or Nourished Has grown warped And Twisted Even the sun wept When with cruel hands You’d ripped the root From my heart Laying me bare… Do it again Lest I forget… Sunkissed [This message has been edited by Sunkissed (12-06-2002 09:32 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 R. T. M. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
With the addition of the last two lines I think you've captured the mentality of classic battered wife syndrome. Well written. Warm regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (12-06-2002 09:58 PM).] |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
And I thought I was simply writing about "Indifference" in a relationship. Go figure. Sunkissed |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
"I thought I was writing about indifference." you said. I wasn't telling what you were writing. I was telling, based on my intellect, heart and soul what it sounded like to me. With strong language such as this: ~warped and twisted~ ~cruel hands~ ~ripping roots from a heart~ seems like a verbal or mental or emotional abuse pattern TO ME.... Thought you did a good job... Hugs and warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Elimeno P Junior Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 17The only place I want to be! |
OWIE! "Go away, go away, go away, um, COME BACK!" This is a very indecisive feeling and perfectly displays confusion at it's finest! I like! EP |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Ohhhh, the slow fade to indifference, and that lonely place--vivid and powerful! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunkissed You talking about the desert sun? LOL good write. |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Regards, my reply to your comment was supposed to reflect the sarcasm at the end of my poem. But then, how could you know that. Besides, what's a poem if one has to explain it, right? I do and did appreciate the praise.  Elimeno, thanks for the thoughts. Sandpiper, thanks for getting the true meaning behind the words. Seymour, Likely not the desert sun. After all, it does burn hot. Perhaps "dead of winter" is a more accurate description. *wink* Thanks all, Sunkissed. [This message has been edited by Sunkissed (12-07-2002 09:27 AM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) This is so powerfully heartaching, sweet friend, I too felt the tears in this, sweet friend, and my heart goes out to all who experiences this abuse and I send angel hugs out! (sigh) This nis heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
I was so awestruck by your poem that I've run out of words, and I don't know how to tell it was beautiful, Oh wait I just did. WinterWren |
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