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Open Poetry #23
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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2002-12-05 11:52 AM



Sardine Run

Off Africa’s wild coast they run
silvery flashes caught in the tide,
moving separately, becoming one -
dancing school, intricately patterned.

In perfect parabolas they run
slipstreaming from south to north,
cold currents churning up a swell of
twirling, frenetic ballerinas.

Alongside the Eastern Cape they run
efforts to repel attract instead
they vanish in a frenzied attack,
leaving clouds of scales, a spooky calm.

© 2002 Core

[This message has been edited by Corinne (12-06-2002 10:56 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
1 posted 2002-12-05 11:56 AM


In the early morning moon-light,
I cast my net into the dark horizon
And the dawn
Like the gleaming belly of surfacing sardines
Leapt from the sea
Not onto the land
But into a can

Corinne....you are becoming, actually, always have been, quite a talented writer..

[This message has been edited by Toerag (12-05-2002 12:16 PM).]

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-12-05 12:09 PM


like this.. the motion and the images...

well done my friend.. well done.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2002-12-05 12:15 PM


Corinne
Nice write, enjoyed the read.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2002-12-05 12:34 PM


Corinne

I always enjoy your poetry.  Like Ron, I loved the color and motion in this.  

Thomas119gold
Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708
Biloxi, MS (city by the sea)
5 posted 2002-12-05 02:05 PM


This is my first chance to read your writing
it won't be the last I really enjoyed it
Thomas

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2002-12-05 02:12 PM


Corrine, I liked this. But, I couldn't help but to laugh at
the Southern Gentleman's reply. That Toe is something else,
isn't he? I must say, though, that I love sardines, and
as soon as I saw the title, I thought of that.
You, my friend, can make something beautiful even out of something
with a terrible smell. I love your talent, Lady.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (12-05-2002 02:12 PM).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2002-12-05 02:12 PM



Corinne~
I always enjoy your poetry and this is no exception.
Very nice imagery in this piece.
Nicely done.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-12-05 09:47 PM




(smiles) Oh Corinne, everything you write is so beautiful, sweet friend, I love this, I love watching salmon and all other fish move up and downstream and the rhythms they make! (kiss on cheek) This is lovely, sweet friend, we all love you so much!n You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Corinne, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
9 posted 2002-12-06 10:58 AM


Thank you Toe, Cpat, Sey, Martie, Thomas, Garysgirl, Vicky and Noah!

Did some revisions this morning, hope it's improved!

Cor

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2002-12-06 05:10 PM


A terrific write... enjoyed the read.

Maree

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